I suppose.

What I have to offer is, uh, similar, but the opposite...? It was the second-to-last day of school and I was so relieved because that assholes Jordan had made my sixth grade awful. First he had made fun of me for being flat-chested, and when I very rapidly went from zero to C cup (adult bra department KILLED ME from…

This is kind of a humiliation/triumph hybrid. When I was starting 3rd grade, we got a hot (for the 80s) new bus driver who I immediately started crushing on. He wore head-to-toe denim and played Bon Jovi for us on the morning of the first day. On the way home that afternoon, I realized fairly quickly that I needed to…

This is about my twin sister. First day of school, she was in second grade. A boy named Ricky started picking on her. Pulling at her hair, slapping, kicking and terrorizing her. She was scared but nobody did anything. The teacher just told Ricky to stop it but he continued. He was big and an asshole. He grabbed her…

My mother was very prepared for my very first day of school - I was 4 years old - in all particulars but one: colouring pencils. She showed me my pencilcase with pencil, eraser, ruler, and one solitary red colouring pencil, and carefully explained that I was supposed to have colouring pencils, but there was only one.…

I was one of those ugly ducking girls for most of my hellish high school career but I did one of those stunning catch-up deals over summer between senior year and first year of community college. Learned to walk in heels, made a bunch of new friends (who were largely very attractive men also planning to attend the…

Once, when I was 26 and working at a middle school for the day as a substitute teacher, a librarian tried to escort me out of the library, where I was overseeing some 6th graders doing research, by repeatedly reminding me “7th graders can’t be in the library during lunch, you have to go.”

On my first day of Kindergarten our teacher was singing “Do Your Ears Hang Low” and I said “No, that’s not how it goes! It’s do your BOOBS hang low!” Only later when I told my mom and she laughed did I realize that she had taught me the wrong version. She loves to tell this story to anyone who will listen.

I had this happen when I volunteered at my daughter’s school for picture day. I was no-makeup, hair in a bun, baggy sweatshirt, and 33 goddamn years old. A teacher came up to me and said “Whose class are you in, sweetie?”

Sex worker was robbed!

HOW DID SEX WORKER NOT WIN?!

I used to teach elementary art in a really low-income school district near Denver. One student, Franklin, was a third-grader who was homeless and living in a car with his mother at the time. The district and social services were aware and helping as much as possible, but mom was hard to work with due to some ongoing…

I have always had a baby face. At 27, I look like I’m a teenager, and I’m pretty sure I’ll be carded well into my thirties.

First day of preschool, I showed every damn person in the building the new Minnie Mouse underwear I was wearing.

When I was in third grade I started school a week late because my family was in Europe. When I got back I thought all my friends would be excited to see me but instead I found out that someone had started a rumor I had died.

Not sure if this ever happened on a first day of school, but I would frequently miss my school bus because I was walking too slowly up the street, stopping to remove drowny worms from puddles along the way. I still do this and not long ago missed a city bus for the same reason. Poor little waterlogged worms.

See, that version at least isn’t privileged as fuck. Even if you’re only considering the most developed countries in the world, many, many people don’t have anywhere close to everything they need. Blithely announcing that basically there is no poverty or hunger or real need in the world is seriously bizarre and…

Somewhere Debra Messing is drinking heavily...

Wait, wasn’t this also said in True Detective season 2? If the same phrase was said in two different TV shows lately... it is slightly weird. Society catching up with what women really feel? At least scriptwriters are...

I’ve seen all of both series, and the Jeremy Irons version was superior in all ways. The other version has a really cool “here’s what happened to...” after the series finale, though. The actors each detailed what happened later for each character, and then what happened generations later. It was really interesting!