I had a patient who was originally sentenced to 6 months for setting a bed on fire.

I hate myself for it, but I can’t be the only asshole that thought of a butt joke with that headline.

let me just say it, bellow the neck would do, above the neck she can keep him.

Don’t forget to put a flea collar into the vacuum bag or sometimes they just climb right back out

The next time you are invited is when you speak up. Say you would like to come over but you had such a BAD, UNUSUAL ALLERGIC REACTION at her house, you were sick for 3 days and you just cannot come over any more. If she wants to discuss it, you can then emphasize that the dog is offering in its own way. But just start…

Chiming here at the end cause I’m late,

I stayed out of a conversation I didn’t want any part of and said so without justifying it or explaining myself! Big deal for me!

See, I would have watched Night Court.

My college advisor said I have a “decent shot” of getting into Columbia based on my GPA and PSAT scores. I’m going to choose to believe him.

You are revered by ancient creatures.

I just turned 31 and kids with the husband are proving...elusive. I spent my birthday crying my eyes out. So I feel ya on the pressure- I figured it was over once I got married, and as it turns out, it’s not that easy.

Aww, honey. The person I thought was my forever person traded me in for someone else. A few years later (and some some good rebound men in between), I met my actual forever person, and seven years later, no regrets on losing the original asshole. You will be ok, but let yourself do the mourning you need.

I have a dog who is pretty low shed. I vacuum every week and a half or two weeks, I wash the blankets around the house once a month. I wash him every six weeks or so. I vacuum the furniture once a month or so, but it’s mostly covered by blankets, so they get the brunt of the fur.

Not a brag as it hasn’t happened yet, but I put in a request for Samantha Bee tickets for my NY trip and I’m really hopeful that my request will be granted!

I’ve got a wee bebe on board. :D A very very wee one, but he or she is definitely in there, making me feel like dog shit. My husband is over the moon, we just got married in August and it took me three years to get pregnant with Mini with my ex. I had always blamed myself, but I guess it wasn’t me after all.

still not smoking, despite a stressful week and some bad cravings this week. 5 months!

“You people have no clue.”

Oh my dogs does Trump ever fucking suck.

Trump really fucking sucks.

This is the Trump sucks thread.