I know a family friend who looks a lot like Rapaport, thing is that family friend actually is in his 60s and you expect him to look like that, Rapaport looks like he died of an overdose in a swimming pool and someone forgot to skim his bloated corpse out so he just got bored and said “fuck it, lemme dry off and let’s y…

We get it, Cardi. You’re a Cool Girl.

Certainly not the way she’s describing it. Sounds like something someone would say performatively, to impress a guy. It’s like women in porn films, sucking on dildos- nobody does that shit in real life. Miss the person a dick is attached to, and therefore his dick, sure. Miss just sucking on the dick? Nuh uh.

I find it all incredibly vulgar. But that's supposedly the appeal. 

A $1000 COOKIE UNVEILING in the BASEMENT OF A COMFORT INN in fucking SYOSSET. This is peak Long Island faux-riche trashery.

Actually it boils down to this: I have a strong dislike for people who engage in pedophilia and pederasty. If you’re not already doing that you’re building up to it and at some point you will cross the line. Based on what you said you’ve already done that. Get help before you find yourself on the wrong end of a law…

Let’s carpool to the meetings.  

The “she’s never struggled with her weight” comments seem very dismissive. She is an actress, of course she’s struggled with weight, the fact that we haven’t seen her fluctuate between overweight and thin just means that she’s better at it than some others.

Well perhaps maybe it’s time to do The Honorable thing and remove yourself from society preferably by taking a permanent dirt bath.

I would bet a week’s pay that watching your neighbor’s daughter wash the car is something you do whenever the opportunity presents itself... Usually hidden behind a venetian blind. Get help before you act on your impulses and find yourself under arrest, embarrassing your family, and a social outcast.

Pro-tip: You’re not eating. But you will be snorting. The pounds will just FLY off.

I want to learn how to eat dinner each night with skinny rocker boys.

I can find a piece of art attractive, but that doesn’t mean I want to fuck it. Stop defending predatory behavior.

If you are attracted to children get the help that you need and don't paint us all with the same brush.

To recap: Cis man observes conversation about predatory behavior and chimes in to remind us he’s one of them. For he must be acknowledged constantly, even as a villain. Got it.

Almost like she was passed around between pedos and deviants. 

Yay! for you.

I got rid of the trump voting lawyer for a bohemian musician.

I don’t remember any song from John Mayer.

It is more plausible that Christian Bale was Batman then that trump would be president.