A lot of people? Real estate market there is extremely hot. Have you been to Oakland in the past decade?

You know Oakland is, like, near San Francisco, right? And that there are houses here that people want to live in?

You’ve gotta love (grudgingly respect? reluctantly tolerate?) the Daily Mail’s snarky descriptions of Abby Lee Miller’s outfits. My favorite: “She showed off her weight loss in shorts and a long-sleeved shirt. Miller paired the baggy ensemble with white calf-length socks and black slides; she wore her locks casually…

As a recovering alcoholic, I see a lot of the signs of a classic alcoholic mindset in Ben Affleck. It makes me sad for him. There’s always a sense that you’re not good enough. No accolade, no pleasure, no profit is ever enough to fill the hole inside, so you just keep seeking out that new job, or new award, or new…

I hope they are! They’re perfect for each other in their blandness, plus she’s another Jennifer.

I’m going to have to pile on here...

My mom never let us watch ren & stimpy. Maybe she was on to something.

I remember absolutely hating Ren and Stimpy when I was a kid. Even as a child I didn’t understand why it was on nickelodeon because I thought it was so gross and inappropriate for children. I used to get so mad when I would see it. Like what the hell are you doing nickelodeon.

I was always creeped out / scared by Ren and Stimpy, especially the style of animation. Now I am creeped out for additional reasons!

Now I feel slightly better about not liking this growing up.

If you disdain lips like that, then you’ve never been kissed right!

They didn’t want a baby, he just didn’t want to wrap it up.

This aged well.

He’s a graduate of the Ivanka Trump School of White People Talking Good. Pick an SAT word and filter it through your wealth-addled MadLibs brain and you too can be considered a genius.

Hey, he’s liked that word “aspire” ever since he saw it stenciled on the wall of the country club changing room last week. “Aspire,” he thought to himself. “That sounds fancy and even good, too.”

My first thought was Kenzo vs Weapon of Choice - both shot by Spike Jonze

I wish he had been aborted.

I make a point of telling my nephews “This isn’t normal. I’ve never seen a President act anything like this.”

Fuck that. My 6-year-old uses air quotes with “President” anytime she says his name.

I am a short man, all that other shit isn’t on me and I’m not going to spend my life stressing about something I have zero control over.