The North remembers.

When my fiancée finally witnessed the cat rubbing her face against mine, the vindication... oh man, the vindication.

“This is something you need to understand: Your cat doesn’t need you. It was fine before you came along, it’ll be fine if you leave, and even when you’re around, it’s got other stuff going on.”

Replace the word “cat” with “girlfriend” and you have my life.

Oh, no! Burneko, I thought you were cool! Turns out you’re just another shithead :(

Congrats on missing the point. I highly doubt there’s anything I could say to convince you to treat the people around you with some modicum of decency.

You’re missing a key point about diced apples in sangria—they soak up the hooch so when you kill the pitcher, you have a delicious boozefruit salad to pick at afterward while someone else scrounges around the house for more cheap wine.

I gotta hand it to you. Somehow convincing yourself that throwing away your money is more (or at all) detrimental to Luke than to your own wallet is some Olympic-level mental gymnastics right there. Clearly, you win.

You preorder and you use “I couldn’t care less” incorrectly? You are a monster.

One of the most common excuses I hear from people who preorder is that they like being able to go to the store and put down $5 here, $5 there... drop a little bit of money from their paycheque here and there as they see fit. That is quite honestly, the laziest, sorriest excuse for preordering what could be garbage…

“but...but the pip-boy!”

Pants? Why the fuck would I ever even wear pants to do this job? Who the fuck am I, the Duke of Kent?

Not even close.

Personally, I think her parents are the bigger psychos for handing her over to him in the first place. But what do I know? I’m just the ghost of some chicks boobs.

A good crust is the perfect ending to the wonderful story that is Pizza. Why people feel the need to fuck with by rolling hot dogs or anything in it is beyond me.

Also, your neck tattoo of your daughter’s name is stupid and tacky, but that’s really not the point.

Plenty of artists will not tattoo you in a highly visible place unless you already have a lot of tattoos. It has nothing to do with you being a woman. I’m a man who was refused tattoos on my hands over 15 years ago at New York Adorned, and, at the time, I had large forearm tattoos and large-gauge ear plugs, as far as…

Oh, and that dude’s analogy was spot on. You are a bowl of unbaked white cake batter with entitlement Funfetti sprinkles.

Female artist here. Don’t tattoo faces, necks, hands or genitals as standard. My choice. If anyone wants to bitch they can go elsewhere because guess what, artists are not machines and are allowed to have some agency over who and what they tattoo. Just as I don’t need to tattoo a swastika and white power slogans on…