No. Bling isn't on the "dress code"

Peaches? No. I thought this was an original creation.

No. I meant we can prevent all of that my not electing morons like this to Lansing in the very first place.

Will a white man please go to this bar tonight wearing a plain white tee, baggy jeans hanging off his ass, doorag underneath a sideways cap, and a fresh pair of Timberlands?

Yes. The latter.

You know that petition you speak of is called a "ballot" and people sign it by "voting."

Don't mock the legitimacy of an issue like inkless pens.

Wait. Regardless of the absurdity or validity of the issue at hand, this dude is praying about media coverage?

I love this kid, and sincerely hope his teachers spend some extra time checking in on him this week to make sure we he isn't bullied.

Well they're both obviously photoshopped. Just done badly.

Why is the cuff for the left ankle floating in mid-air?

Pretty solid camera work from the runner!

They left off the Bill O'Reilly nipple loofa.

This is my generation's Candle In The Wind.

What size heels did you wear?

Please tell me this will be "Channel Lingle US 2012" (Say it slowly.)

I think it's safe to assume that the teacher, the bully, the parent and all 24 other students are now patiently waiting for their death row appeals.

Donate to the Michigan Democratic Party. Both Lisa Brown and Barb Byrum are done at the end of this term, but their seats are very much open to be lost to more batshit crazy republicans. I've worked with many of these candidates and can tell first hand that their opponents are just truly despicable. Please consider…

Way off. Custom foot orthotics.

You're not that far off.