An Aryandroid.

Someone should Photoshop some blackberries into her hand ;)

That is.... an impressively dumb take-away.

If that’s what you got out of this, then I’m going to say you’re probably much more of a triple butt.

Man, I wish we would go to a popular vote model in the US. I live in California, where my vote also doesn’t matter.

Imma think nobody should feel like that. 

No, it's not. Japanese people aren't immune to coronavirus.

Oh for god’s sake shut up. 2 out of 50 states have voted. I don’t want 2 of the least-representative states in the country speaking for me, thank you.

Tulsi Gabbard, as well.

I don’t disagree, but I would note that by far the most heartening thing about last night was how everyone, moderate or liberal, was extremely quick to unite behind the idea of beating a thin-skinned, vainglorious rich person like a pinata.

and you know her downfall is going to be for the stupidest reason, like a bra strap was showing, or she laughed too loudly...

They definitely pushed the JUST BERNIE narrative and sometimes even dabbled in the NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH ideals. Ahh yes if only this nation was run by the purity perfectionist contributors from Splinter we would all live in perfect harmony. 

Not at all. “I didn’t get exactly what I want, so I’m going to take my ball and go home and let the people who aren’t as privileged as me suffer” is a perfectly mature, rational thing to say. I’m just mad that they didn’t have more “This is all Obama’s fault and he should save us somehow” articles.

but the thoughtful, well-reasoned coverage to trash hot takes from out-of-touch, bubble-dwelling 24-year-olds ratio was not great.

Same, but as a do-gooder nerd lady all my life, I’m like yep, this is what fucking happens almost every time. *still bitter about getting beat out for my dream job by a lying-ass liar who proceeded to do a terrible job* “I did tons of research on the issues and am trying to come up with plans that work, but please yes…

In lieu of writing an original comment filled with my own ideas or creative writing, I’m instead going to link to several related Twitter comments that are all written in the same snarky yet hyperbolic style but which I feel broadly represent my opinion.

Hi there very real and legitimate Sanders supporter with an account created an hour ago. Thanks for your contribution 

Ein Land, ein Volk, ein Ramen.

“Heritage, not Hate!” he yells as he hangs the flag of Imperial Japan from the back of his lifted Daihatsu Rocky.

“Starting today, as a countermeasure to the coronavirus, [this restaurant] is Japanese only. I have a responsibility to protect my family, my staff and Sanji junkies. Please understand that this is not discrimination.”

Your mother does. Thats why you are so mad.