Ah, I can't do this.

@Jakooboo, Last of the Time Lords: inb4 "That's what she said!"

@FriarNurgle:

No mention of Hotspot Shield (VPN, free)?

@ClemyNX: It is the perfect place if you want to discover you have cancer in 5 to 10 years.

@Graviton1066: Please don't wish for it to be stolen.

@Jamen Tyler Lang: Because terrorists get all their information from Giz.

@joey23art: There's some elevation (the black plastic) and depth.

@mricyfire: What? I count three.

@orionburcham: The resolution would just be too fucking huge for a tablet device if it was like the retina display.

@pleasenopuffin: Part of the Russian empire, yes. But it's always been inhabited by Ukrainians.

Needs more wodka.

@johnnystreets: Chernobyl isn't in Russia.

@Chernobyl: I completely agree with you.

@Kaiser-Machead v.2.4: Unfortunately, it's a lot less awesome and means 'cyberattacks'.

@Bucky Rodgers (4:19 . . . close enough): Haha, nice one.

@QLAB: 4chan is the source of all the low, repetitive, childish, etc. humor.

@Gillonde: The comments on that are even worse.

@nova3930: Or maybe they just rang the doorbell, said "Madam, is your son home? We would like to have a word with him."

RABBLE RABBLE RABBLE