I believe the technical term for a Butt Doktor is a Proktologist.

Can’t tell you how many text messages I exchanged with friends seriously worrying about the health of a person I have never met and will likely never meet.

Jesus, man. This is harrowing. Like everyone else in the comments, I’m glad things didn’t go differently.

You beat me to it.

“In the sixth minute of a scheduled five minutes of stoppage time” is so misleading that it has to just be trolling.  The ball literally went into the net at 5:01, and that was after Onana was booked for time-wasting, having run nearly a minute off the clock.

I am currently posting this comment from beyond the realm of life because my heart exploded in the 95th minute, but this needs to be said...

This was one of the greatest games I’ve ever watched and the single greatest feat was pulled off by my wife. We’re watching the 3rd overtime from a small town on the coast and we’re out of beer and the only store that sells it is a quarter mile away and closes at 11. At 10:50 with the blazers down 5 with 8 or so…

I honestly enjoy this show and these guys, though they might be a bit rough in Fritz. But they’re genuinely funny and I appreciated them saying “so, can we make fun of you now, is it too soon?” And he’s like “hell yeah, fire away.” It’s the kind of sports radio that isn’t full of assholery and is largely very fun.…

Handle checks out.

Debilitating disease can’t stop Dan Patrick, it can only hope to contain him.

Every soccer writer knows that’s a bicycle kick.

In similar fashion, St. Louis women are famous for their unfappability.

Working for USA Gymnastics seems a lot like playing drums for Spinal Tap.

There are a million ways to save money. Not buying lottery tickets is no better or worse than most of them. You can save money not buying your lunch. Or coffee. Or going to a matinee. Not taking a vacation. Clipping coupons.

Mitch Witchnowsky sounds like he would be the quarterback for a Chicago football team in a video game that couldn’t work out a licensing agreement with the NFLPA.

Subject (and strange choice of target for scorn) aside, this isn’t even an article. There’s no through line, no theory, no point you ever get to. It’s just a collection of quotes from people with no underlying theme to hold it together. What was your conclusion after listening to all these interviews and podcasts?…

I may be mistaken, but I believe these two do a decent amount of charity work. I also greatly appreciate his openness about his struggles/anxiety. This is dumb.

They’re so toast, Jim Nantz carries their picture around in his wallet.