Every logical, rational part of my brain knows - nay, screams - that First Chancellor Trump in office would be a disaster of biblical proportions. And yet a tiny, tiny sliver of my being desperately wants to see him rise to power just to watch the resulting massive four year hurricane of shit that would engulf the…

“he’s this site’s Senpai”

And this is how internets are won ladies and gents.

Imagine if you applied this sort of hate to say, income inequality or racism. There’d be no stopping a better tomorrow.

“Wait, so why do we have to die, but you get to walk away?” “Bro, I already told you — engineering knowledge. Plus I went to an infidel school and I know the enemy more intimately.” “I don’t know, I have a lot to offer too. Have you ever seen my pop-locks? And I can sketch a pretty badass Spiderman. Can’t we draw…

Well, we have reached critical tailpipe diameter - they have nearly matched or exceeded taillight diameter.

Also, boy would it be cool to be able to row your own in one of these.

Germans are just mad because the Romans and Normans made English so freaking awesome, and that in order to convey the same idea in German, you need 3 days of phlegm and 27 letters in each word. #schmetterling

I never understand how you guys go back and forth with our ability to annotate images. Nonetheless,

First and foremost, we have to go after their international funding sources. That's the key. I knew these guys had money, but I had no idea they had Airport Luggage Cart Money.

In fairness, Roll Up was ending. Every cup matters.

What the hell are defenders even supposed to do anymore? Pray?

Cool story bro. Now tell us about how Islam is the religion of peace.

They grounded it to the mother f’in ground.

Do you, perchance, live in a state with legal cannabis?

I can’t believe that, in 2016, any parent would endanger their child by exposing them to the kind of bullying that will inevitably come from wearing a fedora in public. You’re too old to wear a fedora. The world knows it. Your son’s classmates know it.

The nice thing about Jalopnik is that we’re all allowed and encouraged to be ourselves. There is no decree from the top down to hold certain views or values, which often leads to all sorts of epic internal debates. As the emperor of Lanesplittlerland, you poor suckers are all subject to my personal views and opinions…

Idk Sean, I can see really really fast so this rule doesn’t affect me much.

Install airbags on a fleet of cars because they might get into an accident. Okay.

Is your boss open to adopting people?

The DBS was the perfect balance between class and race car. I feel like recently Aston has been leaning too far towards looking aggressive as opposed to looking elegant.

So, I’m a business owner and real estate investor, and his business record is not impressive. He started with millions of his dad’s money and proceeded to use corrupt, purchased influence over politicians to build just enough equity to leverage himself to the sky. Then he used the free cash flow to make himself flashy…