I think whoever owns Kotaku now just let the AI writer loose after training it up on a bunch of Mad Libs. 

In case you haven’t ever beheld A Goofy Movie, Powerline was basically an anthropomorphic canine amalgamation of Michael Jackson, Prince, David Bowie, and Bobby Brown

I’ve written more absurd headlines but this one is pretty good, ngl.

Ok. 

Down in H-Town the car itself doesn’t matter. What matters is the swangas

Weird. Normal people don’t want to buy a $50k car with 7% interest rates, tech that’s outdated faster than a modern smartphone, a business model that’s constantly pushing microservices, and tracks all your movements with no way to opt out or find out where that information is going?

One can of Gfuel has 300mg of caffeine. If the issue is the marketing, I get that. And that is an issue. But if it’s the caffeine content you can’t really go after one and not the others. As much as I hate to side with a Paul in any way shape or form...

I can already tell you’ve put more thought into the plot of this game than whoever made it.

Is it waterproof?

And yet, you clicked, and then clicked again to comment. Jalopnik thanks you for your support.

You clicked the link, you fed the algorithm, you made it so more articles on this are more likely to be written, to generate more clicks. If you really don’t want to see as much on this, then stop clicking the links, stop replying, stop feeding the algorithmic overlords.

It’s a popular story.  If it’s so bad, why are you here commenting?

I’m not sure what camera hardware they use, but if you want even a step above that, check out LexiMount. Saw this mind bendingly cool rally video the other day. They have some prototype mount that is similar to the Insta360 invisible tripod, except it has a counterweight and swivels left/right and also forward/back…

In future discussions about box office, can we just please skip the very boring requirement that a specific set of people who are almost certainly all single guys show up to state how they prefer watching movies at home?

The success of Spider-Man, Transformers, Guardians of The Galaxy and a few other films shows that’s not the reason. People will turn out for films they genuinely want to see. They just didn’t want to see this. It’s got very little to do with streaming.

Peter already has the symbiote suit and its clear that its making him angrier and more hostile, so thats already a given storyline, that was shown in the 12 minute gameplay reveal. Peter cant also be venom, because we have seen all three of them in the same place from the reveal trailer, and artwork. So, unless there…

“The gay community are pedophiles” is a shit opinion. You can share it, and we can rightly call you a shit person for it.

Of course he is. And we are free to call his opinion shit and to call your breathless defense of someone who wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire a sad display by a pathetic simp.

The big announcements are going to be saved for the respective publisher events or the TGA at the end of the year.

I will say, at least if they’re gonna use Stryker as an assist character, they’re using the right one. If you’re gonna use him, don’t try to church him up like Armageddon or MK9, I want spandex-wearing dad-bod Stryker.