Babies

Uh, or, we could let players select from among competing offers, like in-demand workers do in pretty much every other industry?

Bombs against Boston rarely go over well

As a Minnesotan (which is pretty much Canada anyway), and a die hard hockey fan, this hurts a lot. The Gordie Howe Hat Trick is the greatest feat in sports, and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees. I will then need to somehow score a goal, and get an assist, but dammit I’ll do it anyway.

I wonder if Michael Cera checks his stunt doubles backgrounds?

(Whispers) not all white men

Typical hotshot corner who thinks he doesn’t need a safety.

I’ve accidentally shot myself in a strip club before but I just went to the bathroom and cleaned up a bit.

When my mom dropped me off for school everyday as a kid, the last thing she’d say was, “Remember who you are.” And I never did anything as cool as what Curry did last night. So I guess you have to be more than average for that to matter. Thanks for nothing, Mom.

Basketball, like life is about adjustments. They adjust to you. You adjust back. Sometimes you get too caught up in it and you end up in some crazy combination and you have no idea how you got there. This is how Bogut ended up barely playing the past few games. It is also how I ended up having a threesome with the…

Wes Welker doesn’t remember witnessing any wrongdoing under Briles.

The fact that he coached a team that won games and made Baylor football matter on the national level DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER IF HE INTERFERED IN RAPE ALLEGATIONS!

Justly or unjustly, there is always some circling the wagons in situations like these from those connected to the party or parties under fire. Not too many people would be willing to say “You know what? They’re right, the people and institutions I’ve loved my whole life are corrupt garbage. I’ve completely wasted so…

I bet he knows some ways to make that dog a little bigger.

Wait a second. ESPN’s chief College Football reporter has said that this was a major new milestone in accountability and moral standards in the NCAA. And, I mean....you can’t both be right.

*files copyright infringement*

“I come from a long line of proud dipshits”

Anyone else really confused with the conference finals so far? It’s like everything I think I know about basketball gets blown out of the water the next game, every game so far. The only consistent things have been Russell Westbrook and KD.

Pickles are not a side, and I fully support starting another civil war over the matter.

Pickles? Opinion invalid. No wonder Texas sucks.