"Good thing I grabbed this space weapon"
"It's a confetti shooter"

So did the fucking Odyssey.

I like to think it was Hollywood Hogan and not Hulk Hogan in the tape, anyway.

I don't find it at all hard to forgive Hulk Hogan. I've forgiven people I actually know for much more and much less. I don't think the most vocal on the internet will, though.

I think you've been ignored.

It's never a good idea to bet against Cena.

Best Lebowski scene has to be the one with the notepad.

Sorry, but I have too much love for Nacho Libre. It's a love it or hate it type, but if you're one of the beautiful many who love it Black is just perfect.

Are you talking about the ever-lovable and on-his-way-to-best-of-all-time-golfer, Tiger Woods?

My God… This may be the darkest timeline.

Is Herman Cain president?

So like, I heard that Bill Cosby was touching women inappropriately or something? Am I at the right place? What year is this?

I'm going to pee and poop in my pants, ya see, if I can't get into that toilet, you see, I'm dancing Cosby.

Give me ESPN, Cartoon Network, Comedy Central, Discovery, History, Disney XD, USA, and… uh, I guess that's about it.

Knights of the Round shall be glorious.

Stannis is the one true king of Westeros, forever. I shall never accept another.

Everybody eats fried chicken and watermelon. Except for me, one of the 1 percent of black people who find watermelon disgusting.

If i went on Fallon, I'd be offended if I wasn't given at least two or three blowjobs by the end of the show.

Not sarcasm, it was really good.

I agree with Jerry.