Kobe haters can also point to the rape and record his team had this year. Just sayin.

Idk. The Warriors’ bench would give Bill Murray and Newman problems, but it depends how much secret stuff Michael has to share with everyone. They might have to recruit Larry from the earlier golf scene.

Somehow less depressing than Henry Cavill’s Superman.

As opposed to many of his other home runs that came thanks to his tiny balls.

As Mike Francesa hosts a segment on why an MLB team would be named after something used to preserve wine.

“So how do you want your eggs prepared?”

*flips table*
“The Cardinal way, dammit! ALWAYS the Cardinal way.”
*sobs uncontrollably*

*Waitress brings out egg whites and proceeds to shove them down his throat. Just like the Cards shove their nutritious, but bland-as-fuck brand of baseball down all our throats.*

*Your joke was…

“Why do you joke about hanging fruit? It is delicious and gives great sustenance. I see no humor here.”

Hey now, I thought we agreed this conspiracy was stupid and we wouldn’t bring it up again. :(.

Yeah, but only like “get bounced in the conference finals” rather than “get bounced in the conference semis” better. Either way, as soon as they go against an actual functioning “team” they’re done.

Reminds me of Ortiz.

The diehard claim was mixed up with the other guy who called me a casual fan, which again, I admit to and am fine with. I’ve also had a long day and realized I was pretty harsh in the last comment, so I apologize. I guess I just want more young talent to get its shot so they can take their lumps and start building…

No, I actually like building up lesser-known clubs in Career mode. I pretty much hate all the teams you mentioned. I’m a casual Leverkusen and Orlando City fan. I say casual because I’m not in denial that American soccer fever is up to snuff with the rest of the world like you seem to be. There’s too many other great…

There are thousands of great soccer players in the world. They just don’t play for the USMNT...

Ooh, Ooh! I can give you one example of when he wasn’t. Scroll up!

Newsflash: Being the best player on the USMNT does NOT make you good.

What a shame. I heard he was a shoe in to make the opening day roster.

It’s the USMNT. Of course I’m a casual fucking fan.

When has Michael Bradley ever been good on the USMNT? Why do we keep trotting him out there? To make people feel sorry for us?

I thought I was going to hate 7 Days in Hell, but it ended up being one of the funniest mockumentaries I’ve seen for the pure absurdity. If you haven’t give it a watch to kill time until Popstar.