Your summary makes the show sound a lot more interesting than what I actually watched.

2000 years into the future?

Metaphysical noodling is what made the first season so damned funny and special and entertaining.

Toby Jones just pops in, "checking on the progress of my latest species." "She's a cross-breed of two different Pines."

Maybe it's a town full of "Cabin(s) in the Woods."

Careful what you wish for. I'd always secretly hoped for a remake done as flat-out horror, one not dumbed-down to a threatless Spielberg suburbia. (I'm not even sure the bird dies.)

Still on the fence about this show. There's a disjointedness to some of the action, and I can't decide if it's meant to be deliberately destabilizing or merely dodgy plotting. Sheriff butts Dillon's head with a gun, then lets him hang at the hotel. Dillon attacks Nurse Ratched, then they make nice in the hospital.

I remember when Flash (Macromedia!) started gaining traction on the web. Every site featured acres of negative space, spindly graphics, bitty text and inscrutable fiddly widgets.

Those exam things sound like they're a dime-a-dozen. But there's only one Hannibal, man. Get your priorities straight.

I'll watch anything with Toby Jones. He's like a fireplug of charisma.

You sure there were only three sequels?