Well, I see know reason to doubt you

You need to read the novelization, For Whom the Goose Tolls. 

You deserve some serious upvotes for “propo-gander.”

Don’t forget that you can also make the boy trip in a puddle, lock him in a garage, chase him into a phone booth, and make him buy back his own toy. Maybe it’s because I know I’m not causing a real person any harm, but I find a lot of sadistic joy in tormenting that kid. Everyone else gets annoyed at you, but he gets…

My fave part is reassuring us that Geese aren't aggressive, and literally the next paragraph give hilarious detail of how and why they'd bully children.

Oh, great!

Just what we need, a goose aristocracy.

So all we’ve really learned today is that the geese have gotten smart enough to bribe scientists and Kotaku writers to publish propo-gander puff pieces on how “peaceful” and “not evil incarnate” they are.

Hearing that human-raised geese are more likely to make trouble like the one in the game just makes me wonder if the goose in the game has some sort of tragic backstory. Where did they come from? Why do they want that bell so badly?

...I think I love you for this.

They’re your country’s worst export since Nickelback.

Michigander here-- can confirm. They’re horrible shitting monsters that are to be avoided at all costs. 

I’m sorry, did an expert in the field just come out and say that geese typically do not carry on them a list of horrible pranks that they dutifully perform throughout the day. Is she “Not All Geese”ing us on a game where you intentionally rip the glasses off a dweeby kid’s face and bring back the wrong pair?

I’ve had geese for a few years now. I had one African goose (female) and now I have three Buff geese (all females) and I would say geese are generally pretty sweet. Temperment changes between breeds, if you imprinted them or not, and gender (which is why I stick with females), but I love my girls. They run over to me…

I’m a Canadian. You STAY AWAY from the Geese. They’re horrible animals.

Counterpoint: Canada Geese exist.

Correct. Most geese are, in fact, titled.

What a foul day!

Your experts are liars.  I grew up on a ranch with geese and Untitled Goose Game is the closest representation to reality I’ve ever encountered.  They are unapologetic assholes.

What do they have to say about the goats in Goat Simulator?

I wouldn’t go blaming streaming and Netflix for the failure of independent theaters and the struggles even the chains are having. Those problems have been on going for longer than streaming has been a thing. Fuck it was a major topic back when I was in college and Netflix had just launched as the DVD by mail service.

T…