"Math is hard."

Edmund Blackadder, Esq.: Shall I begin the Christmas story?

One time in high school (back in 19-dickety-boo), we were all sitting around making fun of Rick Springfield and especially "Jessie's Girl." And then one of my friends announced that she'd read that Rick Springfield claimed that his erect penis could support the weight of a damp towel. Which is an oddly specific metric.

Hey, British Museum. You just got outclassed by Nicolas Cage.

Nearly 90% of survey participants thought that answering questions about which leisure activities are a waste of time is a waste of time.

That's right. I did the iggy.

So, it's perfectly legal to price gouge people who are dependent on you for life-sustaining medication. But if you screw some other rich assholes who've invested in your hedge fund, then the FBI gets involved.

Many happy returns on this, your first 29th. May you have many more.

Fake president to interrupt "real" debate

Kilgrave: How do you people live like this? Day after day, just hoping people are gonna do what you want. It's unbearable.

Props to the show for managing to give an unsettlingly realistic portrayal of abuse even in the context of superpowers. Kilgrave's self-pity and jaw-dropping lack of self-awareness are so spot on.

♪ I've been told that you've been bold
With Jerry, Mark, and Joel
Monday and Tuesday, Wednesday through Thursday
With Jerry, Mark, and Joel

It's always nice to see the Church speaking out on cultural matters, Bishop.

It's not my favorite Albee play, but I love the movie to distraction. So many enduring words of wisdom!

Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf? (TCM, 8 p.m.): If you’re going to watch one movie in which Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton co-enable each other toward reckless self-destruction for no clear point at all, destroying all manner of innocent lives along the way … well, if Cleopatra isn’t playing, you can watch this,…

That scene between Roman and the world's saddest porn star (and that's a pretty tough curve) is so brilliant. That show rides the line between despair and hilarity like nothing else.

The American Federation of Williams joins the Policeman's Benevolent Association in calling for a boycott of Taratino's films. In a joint statement, the organizations questioned how Tarantino could claim to stand with the murdered while releasing a series of films with titular imperatives to murder Bills.…

I'd like to defend the Puritans a bit. The New World kind were pretty nutty, but many of the Old World ones were okay with sex. English Puritans advocated for laxer divorce laws, in part because they thought that sexual incompatibility in marriage sucked and that people should enjoy sex.

The Hateful Eight soundtrack will be released on vinyl, but exclusively in the rare 96 rpm format, which only three turntables currently in existence can play.

Finally, America's universities are tackling the educational performance gap between the US and other G-8 nations in the field of late-night talk show set recreations.