Wait... Kotaku hired Captain Beka Valentine?  That's awesome.  Please don't hire Kevin Sorbo though, that guy... He took a wrong turn somewhere.

Yeah, I find it extremely troubling that anyone would willingly engage with and or pay attention to Michael Rapaport a man who seemingly lives every second of his life as the one guy in the universe who is both too ugly and trying too hard to land a cameo in a Quentin Tarantino film, despite having been in a Quentin…

Sorry you had to deal with that. Spokane is a truly bizarre place. It is the only place I’ve ever seen people complain about a Latinx staff at a Latin American restaurant. 

More likely he got a fleet of gliders that he and his wife can turn into a shipping company/Smokey and the Bandit cosplay where everyone involved is somehow Enos.

Doesn’t dog sitting suggest that it isn’t even her dog? Rather she couldn’t be arsed to find/ask/tag-out for a replacement to feed and walk some random dog?

But we're not supposed to call Trump an actual Nazi because that is just a ridiculous conflation.

Casino resorts with slave labor.  Golf courses are for majority white countries only, save Dubai which is just basically the floating city of Stratos.

Fewer reasons not to just go for it every day.  Do I have to listen to the music or can I just like go to events with an iPod and some good in ear headphones and pretend?  

Wendy's grilled chicken sandwich used to be one of the best fast food offerings out there.  Their new one is absolutely terrible.  Which brings the whole discussion together through the power of honey mustard.

Arby’s new attempt at chicken is just so bad in general. The original fried chicken sandwiches were much better and their sliced roast chicken club was great as well.

Sauerkraut, Heinz vegetarian beans, and any non-honeyed mustard.

Worlds behind Ebichu, though.  

Your favorite meat is hot dog?  You two just made the binders!  

With all the abortions going on and the order to reunite families there aren’t enough babies to go around.  Amy will be around shortly, though.

Celebrating love and loyalty is wrong if P->B.

I'll take it the extra step and say this is the kind of ghoul who would rather they go to an illegal clinic to die so he won't have to pay hush money to clean it up/risk an NDA breach.  This ghoul and all it's peers.

I mean, in my life I’ve consumed alcohol underage, taken furniture from to my room, had intercourse, and gotten into a fist-fight in dorm study lounges all while the sun was out and never been hassled by campus security for it.

Undoubtedly he meant the fiefdom of Trump Tower that time he reported his undocumented maid after Melania accused her of eyeing the flatware, as he is too craven to fire anyone to their face unless on a scripted “reality” TV show.

Tighten those syllables just a bit and we’ll call it a haiku.

He should make Alex Jones and Hannity watch, they started out fighting some kind of a wolfman and spikey turtle monster but they just kind of disappear. Were they crisis actors? Did they hide in the Clinton Foundation’s Pansexual Kenny Roger’s Roasters Sex Dungeon/Set Orgy Dais?  What happened to the spikey turtle…