I’m hot, I’m beautiful, I’m white

Florida Man, Florida Man, made himself a MAGA van.

Homer: You’re Darryl Strawberry!

If you’re gonna orchestrate a false flag, you send the bombs to people who are actually on the ballot. Like Beto, Stacy Abrams, Andrew Gillum. Maybe some potential 2020 candidates as well, definitely Elizabeth Warren.

It is entirely possible all of this is a blip, that the Jaguars offense will return to being merely mediocre, and that’ll be enough for another deep playoff run.

But then we’d need a report on which cheerleaders are being unpatriotic sluts and wearing leggings in freezing weather.

Once the tub faucet is pouring hot, it only takes a split second for the shower head to pour hot. They are like 6 feet apart.

My shower is a tub, so I climb in and adjust the heat with the faucet before I turn on the shower head. The shower is cold for like a split second, but it also takes a split second to climb up the plumbing in the wall, so you can just step to the back of the tub and then step back forward into the spray a split second…

Would the puma be required to eat all of Jameis Winston or just the W?

Yeah, somebody clearly yelled, “Play Free Bird!” at him.

The angry mobs on capitol hill were one thing, but now you’ve crossed the line that can never be crossed. You did the one thing that is the worst thing a person can ever do to another person. You called a racist out for being racist. Make no mistake about this. However bad a racist’s racism is, it does not compare to…

If Drew Brees is so great, why does he hate our troops?

Bow before the one true GIF

Even on the “Women for Kavanaugh” bus, there are more men than women

This bus is obviously a professional job and wasn’t made in the basement with love.

There is someone with a f***ing gun shooting people and you actually take the time to SORT THE F***ING KIDS BY GENDER?!?!?!?!?!?

Well isn't this just 2018 in a nutshell. Also why does it matter what bathroom anyone goes in during an emergency?  Even a drill. Also kudos to the Equality Stafford person for being astoundingly patient in that second post.

lol go back under your bridge

How many different times of lying under oath will it take for someone on the Judiciary Committee to acknowledge his unrelenting perjury?