Tony Romo is an elite quarterback.

That the New York Jets have, in fact, won a Super Bowl.

Here’s what it would look like if Brady and Manning switched teams and then put on each other’s jerseys to fuck with people.

Drew, I think you are asleep at the wheel - Led Zeppelin has easily caused the most Jr. High boners for anyone over 40. Hello, Stairway to Heaven? Isn't a rule of some sort that Stairway has to be played as the last song at EVERY single Jr. High school dance in the USA? Case closed.

I am just as shitty a parent as the next guy, and I’m sure I’m the last person who should be judging someone else’s parenting, but what kind of fucking idiot leaves a 15-month old alone in a car? Jesus.

Quick story!

I can’t believe George Lucas drives a motherfucking Jeep.

“I know in my heart there’s not many fathers better than me,”

I think Hitler would have made the Hall if in his final season he hadn’t been sent down by the end of April.

+1 big stick

“`It’s said only 29.2% of Hall of Fame voters are Schilling supporters. In 1940, only 7% of Germans were Nazis. How’d that go?’ Vote Schilling.”

Simple solution: turn to one of your most prominent citizens for electricity.

“Uh, yeah, my name is...Billy. Uh, Billy......Football.”

My husband cannot throw the ball and fetch the ball.

“You know what I need to bring to the hockey game? A crossbow!”
What the fuck is wrong with my fellow human beings?

It’s not enough that Kirk Cousins took RG3’s job, now he’s rubbing it in by taking bad knees as well?

In related news, Ron Jaworski will now be hosting the 2016 Miss Universe pageant.

Why? It’s snl, it won’t be funny

The Elf on the Shelf remains the worst thing about Christmas.