When the first adhesive pads came out, my little brother was probably 6 or 7. He asked me what a sanitary napkin was and I told him that you stuck it on your forearm so when you ate dinner you could just wipe your mouth with your arm because the napkin was on it. Little did I know that he would come down to dinner…

I’ve pretty much sworn off politics because I enjoy my sanity but - just for my own curiosity - why would you find Hillary more appealing than Bernie Sanders? I can NOT wrap my head around that no matter how I try.

Twelve year old me saw that happen, actually. Probably the last time I watched the Oscars. I remember hearing he was murdered shortly after, too.

Dad: “Hey, what’s that following you around? Oh, nevermind, it’s just your ASS!”

oh gawd, THANK YOU! I’ve been arguing with expats here for months about this shit - Starbucks and now Domino’s. Jesus. Keep your shit on your shores, dammit. We don’t need it here.

I didn’t know that was an option. I’d gladly take Domino’s over Silvio. Grazie.

As an American living in Italy, I can tell you that I am absolutely fucking disgusted with the amount of expats that think this is great news. Seriously. I didn’t eat this shit when I lived in the US, I am certainly not going to eat it here.

I loves me some Rottie too, but a big, sweet, dumb male Swissy? Nuthin’ better. (Louie’s mother actually looked and was built exactly like a Rottie. Only the Swissy marking gave her away.)

I live in Italy. While we were all worried about the supposed Prosecco shortage, a coffee shortage would throw this country into an apocolyptic downward spiral into hell.

Wait, they can’t possibly still be running that same ad that goes back to my childhood (I’m old) can they? Good god.

My GSMD just turned 8 and he is the best dog I’ve ever had. Period. I don’t think I have ever yelled at him.

I just came here to say fuck this guy. Fuck this guy and all the rest that think like this. They disgust me.

At 53 I’m too old for all the shit. (especially •still being in the fucking greys)

You can cook with it, but heat pretty much kills it’s nutritional value and it’s flavor. Best to use it raw like in salad dressings. It’s not cheap, either.

OMG Juke boxes. I bartended at a place in Cow Hollow in San Francisco many, many moons ago. The place was frequented by a bunch of Trustafarian dudes that were there every night getting fucked up with Daddy's money. Beck's "Loser" was just out (1993? 1994? Fuck, I'm old) and the more the drank and/or the later it got…

I hate flying so this, I'm sure, took several years off of my life.