Well Heather’s husband has his own show on E! (Botched) so at least he’s doing that? I don’t watch Housewives but Botched is a gem.

I hate to admit this on a gawker site, but I’m a Christian. Tamra’s baptism and Vicki’s remarks are a true test of my sense of nonjudgment and social charity.

I live in Orange County and am acquaintances with a few of the housewives. I’m closer with several people who are very close to many of the housewives, from their hair and makeup people to actual friends and neighbors. Whore for gossip that I am, I’ve been bombarding them with questions about Brooks and his “cancer”.…

I got more of an “are you fucking kidding me” vibe from the pastor during that little tirade.

I know right?! And those awful silky blouses! I can’t believe she was only 29 in season one. She looked 45.

I think we all realize that the “reality” of these shows is super manipulated. So the whole “does he or doesn’t he have cancer?” storyline really icked me out. Either way, this whole quagmire of bullshit — even the stuff that is true, like Meghan calling Newport imaging — is the producers pulling strings from behind…

Does anyone remember when Kim Zolciak did almost this exact same thing (having cancer but not really) at the first RHOA reunion?

And now I feel weird for not realizing how insane that episode was until you just wrote it all out.

My mom has been battling Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma for over 2 years. She has had it for longer, but she spent over a year having doctors mis-diagnose her before she finally got a doctor who listened.

They really hit it out of the park with the crazy this season. The culmination of the season ending with pre-partying for an adult baptism for which there was a party planner would have been insane enough, if Shannon’s pre-partying didn’t include giving herself an enema just hours before the party. If some poor soul…

Wat?! How? WHY!

Just MANSPLAINING SUPER SAYIAN LEVEL.

YES. I used to get this with guys when I was doing the crossword. And why do those guys always have the worst breath??

I once had a dude PUSH MY BOOK DOWN because I wasn’t giving him my undivided attention while he was hitting on me. Luckily, a split second before I chewed him out, the older woman next to me when “HANDS TO YOURSELF, SIR.” That lady was so fierce, he got all embarrassed and moved to another seat, mumbling about what…

I think I have a whole series by this author!

I am noping this article so hard, as I’m literally eating a fried chicken sandwich on a donut bun for lunch.

My dad is a marathon runner and used to pay me $1 to rub his feet when I was a kid. I remember being sort of fascinated with how weird and gross his feet were. He was missing his baby-toe-nails, and frequently others would be purple. He also had no hair on his feet.

I like pedicures and sandals, I will never run.

I am... relieved? that about five years ago my feet developed something I can only call “being fucked up” that means I cannot do high-impact exercise without potentially causing days worth of pain.* So it’s all elliptical machines for me and I cannot ever do a marathon. Which, you know, I wasn’t going to do anyone,…

All these things and the comments are why I only run if I’m being chased by grizzly bears.