What is next?

the only thing that changes over time is that the man onscreen begins to express remorse over some of the women and children he killed

Lets not forget how he bravely defended the Superdome against Al Qaeda.

Or, you can have no fucks to give anymore, and not wear a bra at all! This works best for small breasted women, or large breasted women like myself who have no interest in propping up my funbags for any reason.

I already called dibs, hills but will letchu know if we break up

To me, the funniest thing about this story is the location. Solana Beach is a little suburb north of San Diego that's getting richer and whiter all the time. The Belly Up, while a great venue, is in the middle of a goddamn design district. It's surrounded by high-end furniture and art stores. I'm not sure if that…

Yup. My husband's mother does this. She was/is an addict and is physically and emotionally abusive. But she did a GREAT JOB b/c he's successful! Someone give that woman Mother of the Year!

I think sometimes abusive parents have a tendency to believe the lies they've told themselves about how wonderful their children's childhoods were. Particularly if their children turned out to be decent adults.

the one time we have called CPS because of suspected abuse, they needed more details than anyone outside the home would have. The refused to investigate because we could not tell them the exact dates of suspicious injuries (the kid had stitches, we knew what week she showed up with the stitches but couldn't tell them…

These stories always confuse me, because in my decade of teaching I have found CPS to be so overburdened that we have to seriously harass them to intervene. I had a 9 year old student whose mother would make her sleep in the garage (in Canada, in winter) and it took NUMEROUS calls to get them to investigate. It…

Honestly, I'm less panicked over this than I am when I read about kids being "home-schooled."

Woooooot! I'd high five my fellow winning klutzes but we'd probably all end up needing stitches and casts.

Going to be lazy from my castle here in Victory Village and just quote something I posted elsewhere on Jezebel back in September because it fits:

A women who I met on a train back from London (took about 40 mins) as I was fairly drunk. She asked to come back to mine so I thought why not. On the way she kept groping the taxi driver and telling woeful jokes including inviting him back for a 3some. We still banged which says a lot about me (below average sex) but…

Sigh.....a white guy that would wear "funky jamiroquai hats" in high school. I lost my virginity in his storage unit. :-/

So many to choose from. I'll let yall decide. Let me preface this list by saying that I'm omitting the sociopaths and boring losers. This list is in no way representative of all my questionable and embarassing encounters.

1) An Irish guy who purposely mooned me and my friend at a pizza place in NYC. He was wearing a kilt. We banged on a couch in my friend's dorm room. I think the kilt stayed on.

I lost my virginity to a guy who lived on my dorm floor. He had bright blue troll doll hair and was pale as a ghost. His dorm room smelled like stinky feet. It was the worst. When I see people from college, "the troll" comes up at least once.

I'm engaged. We met on Tinder. It's pretty fun to see everyone's face when I tell them that. The judgement is very, very obvious.

I would be glad to personally subsidize an all-you-can-catch lobster deal for him.

"It's not wild chicken."