Smokey Robinson's "Tears of a Clown" is the perfect choice for this montage, but the best irony here - I've run into him lots of times around West Hollywood, he's a lovely man, but this is no exaggeration - I don't think his face has any mobility left, either (he's 74!):

My mom has an acquaintance who cleans houses and will occasionally clean my mom's house, but my mom just calls her "la senora", as in "Limpia la casa, manana viene la senora". Yeah, zero sense.

I'm Argentinian, and anteojos is pretty common. For maids, we say mucamas, but sirvienta also works. I think that last one is also a class thing, and we know Argentines are also super obsessed with class.

Well, I wouldn't say that because it literally translates to "servants," so... But anyway, who really has maids anymore? I guess Carlos Slim or somebody.

I know a little bit of spanish. I'm pretty sure she's explaining that she accidentally deleted the series finale of "How I Met Your Mother" while the girl was in the hospital.

just another day in the Queef Latinah neighborhood. To make this more believable, loud reggaeton should be playing somewhere, and there should be a lot more people observing and yelling at the same time. I'll give it "honorable mention"

I've used a service similar to Groupon for my business. We sold a $99 package of tutoring for $44 of which I got about $20. Most of the people who bought it never returned. (They lived too far away or they were really just buying for the deal.) However, at least 1 person became a long term customer and referred at…

Um....yeah. Probably. I mean, when you have young kids you find yourself saying lots of things among adults that you wouldn't expect to. It just gets to be a habit and then you find yourself excusing yourself to use the "potty" in front of your boss.

These numbers are irrelevant.

this is a man who is working to stop me from getting married and paid for commercials that imply I'm a pedophile. That sounds like someone who is out to get me. The work he did isn't just a political dispute, it's a direct attack on me. Why would I tolerate it? It's like saying I should tolerate a punch in the face.

If you want to remove it FOR GOOD ask your landlord if they are open to allowing you to paint with the special primer they make. I always recommend a good oil based primer (job specific) for the bathroom (it will seal out wetness). You can then buy special latex bathroom and kitchen paint with a mildicide right in the…

I have such a mental block about her being a Scientologist. I so want it not to be true that I am legitimately surprised every time I read about it.

Welcome aboard Elizabeth.

Thank you. To be clear, I was trolling you. Am new to this trolling thing and would appreciate it if you would rate my troll on a scale of 1 to 10. Thanks in advance.

ETA: Missed the "chopped Suey" thing and am regretting my decision to reply accordingly.

Are you involved with men's rights advocates?

YUM. Yum is the word you are looking for. *drools*

I should show these to my wife then.

Not a foolproof plan.