If you can can you also google my username, and listen to my music to shit on it as well. My music isn't good in the slightest so if you want to shit on me at every possible opportunity, you can shit on me on every possible music streaming app. Spotify, Deezer, Google Music, Apple. Please shit on my shitty music there…

You say that but I'm starting to feel like a grandfather with the way the world works. Like tiktok? NFT? Why?

... is this a skit? Is this a skit, are you like serious? Lol you're really calling a biromantic asexual homophobic? The heck does that even make sense? Bro, someone strangled someone and is acting all pompous like and you're calling me literally every buzzword you can think of. Dude, chill relax. I ain't Qatar, I…

How the heck am I bigoted towards the trans community? Since when was that a thing? I've never once been transphobic in my life? Honestly I'm either stupid or clueless. Dude I'm like the least bigoted dude around.

Surely if you know what teacher you're talking about you'll say he or she's in the other classroom right?

You also have a relative that molests children? You uh, you're really going to go down that route pal?

Why's he using they to describe himself, they is a group, they is not singular, he or she or it is singular. Please don't use multiple to describe a singular being please, that's mucho confusing.

Honestly there's a very simple solution for how to improve the Oscar's, make it into an episode of The Eric André Show.

You saying that you wanted this year's Oscars to be entirely in Korean? Have it be a frigging K-Drama or something? 

It would've been broadcast for 5 hours every day for 3 months.

Two further questions.

2 questions.

I mean it was the best Alien film released that year. But yeah apart from the twist and killing off Ryan Reynolds right off the bat, it was like it existed.

What's weird about it is that Matt Smith's characters basically a Ryan Gosling Romcom Character If Ryan Gosling Was A Gay Vampire. Like I don't know if Matt Smith was supposed to have a thing for Jared Leto but his whole character was like "Notice Me Jared, notice me! Why won't you notice me? Why can't we be together?…

Dude we lost all of the cool AV Club writers but we're left with this cunt. What the heck man, do they not care about having people visit this site or something?

Bro what if she regenerated into an empty birdcage? Just have that be it then when the birdcage gets destroyed it regenerates into David Harewood?

Ah! I only ever thought that Peter Cushing played Doctor Who, I never knew he was Doctor Who in the show as well.

Why is a random white man nobody’s neither heard of or cares about getting outraged over A Talented English Actor playing a role? Surely Hugh Grant could be like a John Hurt type of Doctor? It’d put butts into seats.

Only if the killer phones the friends and quotes the Friends Theme Song at them.

I mean there'll be no hardcore sex scenes and none of them will be rich and we won't see any boobs so no... Not at all.