You can get away with yelling at teammates if you're the QB and are blamed for every mistake. Not if you're a wide receiver. Also, you can't just ignore the exchange with Witten. Romo never did anything like that. And I fucking hate Romo.

Wait, is Jay Cutler black?

Hey, the opposite works for Fox News, can't argue with their ratings.

So basically black guy good, white guy bad. The Gawker recipe for page hits. Got it. Next story please

Yeah, it'd be a shame if the wealthy could no longer enrich themselves by paying poor people to maim themselves.

Ah yes, The War on Football. It's right up there with "reverse racism" and the Wars on Christmas and Christianity in put-on victimhood.

Somebody recognized a contestant from The Bachelor Season 11 during a crowd shot of a baseball game, and we're making fun of the contestant?

Except if, you know, she didn't want to. I know plenty of sub 70 half guys who haven't moved up to the full yet. They just prefer the higher race frequency and speed work that goes along with 5k-half that you give up part of for the full.

"Yet to hear one realistic plan how to pay players without eliminating all other sports. Value of Education versus Arena FB or D League."

Super punchable.

Where the hell is the prank? Is the prank that Deadspin has fired all of its editors, thereby allowing this worthless drivel to see the light of day? Is the headline supposed to ironic, as the only one who comes across as decent in this whole story is the guy who was Vander-jacked? Since when has stealing from a…

I'm not pleased he's wearing an M's hat.

Sadsack Deadspin Reader Punked into Reading Stupid Article about Two Sadsack Drunken Comedians Who Committed a Felony - TWICE - Against Idiot Kicker Who I Almost Feel Bad For Now

So, two half-rate comedians commit grand larceny and brag about it to anyone who will listen? Cool story, bro...

'Fuck you.' What were they going to do, extradite us from L.A.?

Well uh, this is probably the stupidest fucking story I've ever read.

So two guys steal what is probably one of the guys favorite possessions, brag about it, then act like assholes and hold out when he asks for it back. Not sure why this article is so slanted against Vanderjagt. These two just sound like a couple of douchebags. Stealing his jerseys isn't even that funny of a story. …

I don't like a story where the person who comes across like the least biggest piece of shit is Mike Vanderjagt.

Two words, as I mentioned above: Training tables. Every school has them, at least at the FBS level. The last one that didn't was Notre Dame, and Brian Kelly started a pretty lavish one when he became the head coach.

This seems exaggerated to me. I used to work for an FBS football team, and there was almost always food and drink available, especially before and after workouts. Bagels were available almost all the time, the player's lounge was stocked with an entire cooler full of chocolate milk and Gatorade, and then there were…