I wouldn’t worry about it. They had a life insurance policy. That's what it's there for. To protect you and your loved ones in the event of a tragic, unforeseen circumstance.

Nah. You should reproduce with no concern for your child’s welfare, like millions do everyday.

Or, you could just not have kids you cannot afford.

You’re really going to come at me with this weak bullshit? Let’s make one thing clear:

When you really look at it, a fair amount of “deliberate incompetence” is actually blackmail/emotional abuse. How many times have you heard a man, or a third party speaking for a man, joke about how they’ll gladly watch the kids, and they won’t let them burn the house down either. (The punch line is always different,…

First of all, there is no way the hours involved in changing furnace filters or doing basic car maintenance add up to the hours of other labor being described here (in the article and by frustrated women in the threads); if they are, I think you may need some instruction on how to more efficiently use your time.

A real man picks up a crying child and soothes them so you don’t have to put down what you’re doing. A real man comes home from work with groceries, saying “Oh, I noticed this morning that we were low on milk and eggs, so I got some more.” A real man picks up his goddamn shoes and puts them on the shelf, so you don’t…

Why didn’t we just ask? How could we not think of that! The problem is that the asking and asking again, and again, and getting frustrated because you’ve asked 15 times and nothing has changed is part of the very same emotional labour we’re trying to dispense with. If asking worked we wouldn’t be having this…

Totally agree here. The “pile on” is a real frustration. And how everyone blinks at you like an owl when you suggest that adults take care of themselves. Obviously, it’s totally my job to organize events for my ILs. (Uhm, no.)

oh my god, the “WE need to do” when what he really means is “Can YOU do this for me?” is such a peeve of mine. I call him on it, but it sounds really bitchy. And, it doesn’t even work. The conversation goes like this:

I’ve done that, and the boyfriend agrees, and then never does it, because he literally cannot *recognize* when he needs to. And that’s why the whole “Oh well go find someone else,” is both trite and untrue. I’m friends with many, many different types of guys, and the inability to recognize when emotional support is…

lol my husband hasn’t put new tires on his car in possibly a decade. I have no idea how they’re not just shreds of rubber. I’m not even sure he knows how to pull a dipstick. And he changed batteries in the smoke detectors ... after I asked him to ... and they’re still sitting on tables in their respective rooms…

How many hours per day do you spend cleaning your furnace filters, buddy?

So this would not resonate quite so much with me, if I weren’t sitting in ICU with my MIL, because it must be done, and the lady folk seem to be the ones that get the mustbedones. ‘Cause who else, and if needs must, they must need, and not doing the thing... isn’t always an option.

How about... If your spouse/boyfriend/whatever neglects to do any of the “emotional work,” and you feel that it’s vital he do, then you ask him to do so?

And a little thing I like to call “deliberate incompetence” has a lot to do with it as well, I think. That way, you don’t have to try because you’re “just not good at it.” Bullshit. You won’t get good at anything without trying and practicing.

If you can suggest a way to say “No, you need to find a birthday present for your own sister.” without it sounding like “I don’t care about your stupid sister.”, well, I’m all ears.

In my 40 years of life as a woman who dates men, this has never gone over well. Men don’t see what the problem is, even when you explain it to them. I have not met one man who will do the emotional work when asked, or who doesn’t see it as an annoying request from a dizzy broad. Anger? They have lots of that. Not a…

I find men to be very emotional, it is simply not called “being emotional” when they flip out and get angry. The male emotional reaction to things is considered completely rational. The weird, paranoid fragility of masculinity is also not called an emotional reaction, when it clearly is. On top of that, women are not…

The finding stuff around the house is right up there on my list of pet-peeves.