“...because we’re all out of jaguars.”

This will serve as a warning to all of the doping cheetahs in the Olympic village.

Rest assured we will see the jaguar again. When it’s corpse is seen floating in the bay during the rowing events.

That was one Wild Kratz dong. See you on the creature trail.

They were until Kasich killed the budget for Ohio’s long-term mental institutions.

7.6/10 on the bayless scale

You need more joy in your life.

As a USC fan, I damn near popped champagne when the announcement came when he was stepping down. He’s a piece of shit.

Are we not doing Chaka Khan jokes? That’s fine, I just wish someone would have told me we aren’t doing Chaka Khan jokes.

Worst spelling of “Ray Farmer” I’ve ever seen.

Counterpoint; Rubén Amaro Jr.

I guess you could say that the death line-up’s play on the court in Game 7 was

At least Curry had a good Father’s Day, he got to spend it playing basketball with his daddy.

You don’t even understand that burrito bowls are better how am I supposed to trust your sports takes now

Giants over Patriots to ruin their perfect season.

Tyrannosaurus Rekt

Why can’t it be Skip Bayless whose car rolls down a driveway and pins him up against a brick wall? Why is Stuart Scott dead of cancer, but this guy gets to keep having a broadcasting career?

I was there!

How can this be “worst tweet” when it is clearly “best tweet?”

True story: I beat Tyson as a kid. I was playing at the neighbor's house with their two kids and we were doing the typical 10-year old thing - playing video games all night until our eyes bleed. It was about midnight (Saturday) before I worked my way up to Tyson. I had faced him before and, like most people, got curb…