Turns out Amb DID hit the sign on purpose, in order to win money from a golfing buddy who bet him he'd never break 75.

That's seven more than are impressed by your hottest of hot takes.

Er... yeah, except runners ARE allowed to light up the catcher if he's blocking the plate.

If you went to a "joint practice" and found out there was no weed to be had, you'd wanna hit someone late too.

Actually, pretty much every GIF keeps on giving.

Knock off $25K for what was once the lawn now being used for minivan parking.

Pfft! Silly Mets fans with your nonsensical hot dog-eating taunts. Everyone in San Francisco knows that Hunter Pence eats nothing but kale. Yes, KALE—concentrated spite in leafy green form. Your dislike of Pence actually provides him with nutrients.

Hey, whaddya know — Deadspin's GIFs look like incredibly slow, grainy stop-motion animation on my phone just like they do on my laptop! That is some responsive suckiness right there.

Shut the fuck up, Donnie.

This explains why I felt a searing pain radiate from the swoosh on my golf shirt that night, like Harry Potter's scar.

I'm guessing "Maradona's Napoli" sounded sexier than "Jose Altafini's Napoli."

Pictured: Donald Sterling rests his hands upon the womb wherein gestates a fetal-stage lawsuit. Uncomfirmed word from his attorney's office is that it's triplets.

Apart from The Two Escobars, the other "30 For 30" doc that bowled me over was Once Brothers. Who knew Vlade Divac could make a documentary. I'm sure he had help, but nevertheless, his filmed memoir of how his since-they-were-kids friendship with Drazen Petrovic became a casualty of the Yugoslav Wars was goddamned…

Bah. Our dog park buddy Teddy the Bi-Peddy doesn't need a radio station-sponsored event to haul ass:

Now everyone, enjoy watching these top 10 (and bottom 1) goals in whatever order your browser finally renders the animated gifs, no matter how fast your internet connection.

Please make the 2018 team all black.

I see Kamara's actions as respectful and courteous. He's like the parent who picks up the screaming child and gets them out of the movie theater, the only difference being that he's both the parent and the child.

I feel ya, but I'd bet dollars to donuts that determining which games are on ABC was all about the time slot rather than if the USA was playing. The USA games were mostly on weekday afternoons, and no way are ABC and its affiliates going to pre-empt their daytime talk show cash cows. On weekend days that's not an…

Point taken regarding Ballack not being on his country's team or coaching staff, but you're only half right about van Nistelrooy: the Dutch FA has hired him as the new assistant coach of their national team under Guus Hiddink, to take over as soon as this World Cup is over.

Slate's article is utterly frivolous, and I wish it'd been my idea because OMG is it funny to watch all those.