Point taken regarding Ballack not being on his country's team or coaching staff, but you're only half right about van Nistelrooy: the Dutch FA has hired him as the new assistant coach of their national team under Guus Hiddink, to take over as soon as this World Cup is over.

Slate's article is utterly frivolous, and I wish it'd been my idea because OMG is it funny to watch all those.

At first glance, I mis-read the line before the last tweet as "And yet, the league held back on Josh Groban," and thought, "Dear God, why? Let that crooning twerp have it!"

I agree with Greg's overall thesis, if not with all his ancillary expansions upon it. I'd like to focus on one in particular (emphasis added):

Our #2 keeper, Brad Guzan, is good enough to have started for plenty of teams at this World Cup. He had a tremendous year for Aston Villa in the English Premier League and was very solid for the USMNT in several games during the year or so leading up to the World Cup. He's 29, so he definitely has the inside track to…

You seem cool.

You gotta be worried about anybody who gets onto the pitch carrying that much stuff.

"Hey, when you have this much of an overbite, you can't help people running into it sometimes. I am the walrus! Coo-coo ka-choo!"

Hey sponsors/brands/corporate pencil necks: the posts you made Michelle Wie delete are the kind of thing that might have actually made me interested in watching golf.

Agreed. If Robben wasn't SUCH a histrionic Louganis-er I'd probably like him.

I kind of wanna see Diego Costa score for Spain and run past the stands doing a "shh" gesture. How American is that of me?

Dani Alves is trying to pick out his mom in the crowd.

Aww, good for them, conserving water. It's not easy being green.

Didn't you hear? After the World Cup, Klaus Kinski is going to convert the stadium into an opera house. He just needs somewhere to park his boat.

As long as they don't make the seat-less areas into fenced-in pens, it'll be OK.

Of course not. Nor am I (or the first commenter in this thread, as far as I can tell) thinking the U.S. can win the World Cup. I was merely pointing out a pertinent fact in order to suggest that your eagerness to shit on the USMNT may have led you into a bit of hyperbole.

What happened to Sterling being declared mentally incompetent? And will his letter be admitted to evidence?

Math is hard.