I’m commenting for the first time in... five years?? to share my family’s ridiculous Christmas cards I Photoshop every year. To my mom’s credit she thinks this is the best thing ever, although she does also make us also take a (more) normal picture.

The best part is the design that I chose for the card says “JOY” in huge letters right underneath her “please kill me now” stare. Hahahaha.

This is our first year with personalized christmas cards - a joint holiday card/pregnancy announcement (because I reffuuuuuuse to announce on facebook, dammit!). It wasn’t cheap, but I super happy with the way they turned out (mainly because there’s a big ol’ picture of my adorable dog wearing a big sister sign and no…

Is this really unusual? My mom has some from back in the ‘60s that have handles, and they are amazing. Maybe it’s one of those things we used to do, but then some asshole decided the aesthetics would be better without handles, and now we’ve all forgotten the simple beauty of handles on cookie cutters.

Still the best thing on Deadspin, year after year.

Mannnnn, this article really takes me back...back to around this time last year, when i first discovered the gloriousness of the 2014 Haters Guide to the Williams Sonoma Catalog.

You actually sound like a W-S customer.

Out of curiosity, I found this exact same product on the “chocolatier”’s website:

Martyr.

Their regular calling cards, the 19th century equivalent of a missed phone call or voicemail, aren’t much better:

I’d much rather get one of these than a picture of my stupid cousin’s family. I don’t want to see your stupid family Travis.

Bowdich asked for the public’s help ...

“She’ll sleep with anyone”

In a series of tweets, the bigoted folk hero accused a woman of sleeping with a “dirty Muslim,”

Plus I like money! You people like money right? And furs? Got wife #3 or 4 wrapped in them right now. Can’t get on the no pork thing with you though.

This right here? is some creepy ass shit. I cannot be expected to handle this. We all know that woman is going to go get a tattoo made over that, and she must be stopped, for the sake of the nation.

Chelsea Handler thinking she’s less of a mess than Fallon is hilarious.

posted this separately but I’m in the greys soooo

“Especially for those (of) us in the pro-life movement”