Adopting isn’t like going to the animal shelter and picking out a puppy. It’s a long, invasive, very expensive commitment. So how ‘bout we cut with the “just adopt!” shit. It’s presumptuous as fuck.

Delete your account

If necessary, friends help friends tweeze.

I know I’m going to be the buzzkill on the snark (FWIW I think this is the funniest thing I’ve read during Senior Week), but the giveaway is how everybody on the ship — including the snotty hateful first class one-percenters — applauds Rose and Jack’s reunion. To me, that tells me that this is Heaven, because while…

I am almost 30 and back in school. I use my student ID alllllll the time.

Just wait; you will qualify for senior discounts before you know it.

It won’t last for decades, but it’s a solid little small-home unit.

It won’t last for decades, but it’s a solid little small-home unit.

It’s basically an opportunity to gain more exposure if you plan to have any career that involves showing your face. While you and I who do not necessarily move in this world find it dumb and sexist and outdated, there is still a fairly large pool of people and organizations that can provide the women that compete in…

For the scholarships, duh. It’s just an amazing coincidence none of the winners have acne or weight problems.

Vapid people who love the idea of being and or watching people get judged like meat. Beauty pageants and body building competitions are monuments to superficiality. That being said, I personally think child and teen pageants should be banned. Adult competitions are fine though, no one is holding a gun to these men and…

Clearly the objective of distracting the populace from gross economic inequality and impending climatological catastrophe has been fulfilled by sports and pointless celebrity/reality show gossip/run-downs.

One is definitely better than the other.

Man, I am going to miss him. He brought my favorite team 5 championships and cemented a legacy of greatness that can compare with anyone or any team.

I wonder what Biden will do after the election? I could see him as a talkshow host maybe. “Cocktails with Biden"

Obama on SCOTUS would be amazing and worth it just so he could go up to the republicans like IM BACK, MOTHERFUCKERS.

For the first time ever, I’m seeing the downside to having a presidential term limit.

DJ Roomba in the house!

DJ Roomba in the house!

I love my Roomba. It’s a little cat litter and cat hair eating machine. Full disclosure - your pet will not ride on it like YouTube would want you to believe. They will cower in fear.

I love my Roomba. It’s a little cat litter and cat hair eating machine. Full disclosure - your pet will not ride on…

I am laughing at this SO HARD. He is such a douche. He's SUCH a douche. He's probably terrible in bed. I don't even care. I would still hit it like the wrath of God. I'd just make sure he wasn't in a position to speak until well after we were done.