You could have picked almost any photo of Nicolas Cage.

If this had happen during the Montreal portion of the Rays season, it would have been even more confusing because it would have all been in metric.

Adam Gase looks like Nicolas Cage as Sean Archer as Castor Troy.

And now we have, I don’t know—at one point in time there were 65 waivers that were given in a year.

I had this barber named Kahlid, he was a grad student at Wisconsin at a barber shop right off campus. I was a college grad and knew about this thing called tipping. It didn’t matter how many people were waiting, Kahlid would always call me to his chair as soon as I walked in the door. He did a great job too.

I think it was meant to say either “takes a presidential shit” or “shits on the presedency.”

I watched The Omen on TV for the first time - I think it was on HBO several years after its release. When Gregory Peck and David Warner are in the Italian cemetery pulling the lids off tombs - I couldn’t stop watching & I freaked out. I was maybe 11 at the time.

This morning they ruled out a gas leak and they’ve also said they do not suspect foul play.

Goddamnit North Carolina, leave the hot chicken to Nashville!

the easy explanation is “gas leak,” the other is somebody in Eden tried to eat from the Tree of Knowledge

until the colonel removes the cheeto chicken sandwich, a restaurant will be destroyed every night. this i swear to you

If your employer openly advertises that it’s going to work you harder, it should probably pay you higher wages.

Mermaids are real. Saw one while i was at the beach a few years back, she was out about 50 yards into the water, frantically waving her hands at me, non-verbal creatures, so I imagine this is how they say “hello” and then she just went under the water and I never saw her again.

Apollo 18 has such a great premise that anything short of "modern horror classic" would be disappointing. Seriously, how do you take that premise and do it halfway?

After I saw it I told people who asked: “It’s an hour and a half set up for one scare. But it’s a pretty good scare. Budget your value and time accordingly."

As far as I know, Mike Trout is more famous as a Philadelphia Eagles fan than a baseball player, and I live in Orange County.

[Pinky to corner of mouth] Are they... ill tempered?

You know, the Navy has one simple request. And that is to have ships with frigate laser beams attached to their decks.

Let’s be honest here. If the paramedics amputated the arm at the scene, they were most likely finishing a job the accident started.

How fucking terrible are the Knicks if “looking like cheap idiots” is their preferred narrative?