Just read the list in full. And it’s full of shite. Even if you limit a discussion of its flaws to only one movie, “Captain America: Civil War,” and exclude all the hundreds (thousands? hundreds of thousands?) of unseen collateral deaths throughout the entire MCU:

You have to remind yourself that she doesn’t have any powers of her own

Am I the only one wondering how he finagled a three-character Twitter handle? You need to be a legit Silicon Valley OG for that kind of shit, at least if you’re not a celebrity with a verified account.

“That’s how most people in large cities commute, you should check it out.”

I-35 runs through nearly the entire length of Texas, including Austin (where I live). Since our weather is roughly on par with Southern California’s, we get freezing precipitation once in a blue moon, and actual accumulations of snow about once a decade. (Bizarrely, we’ve gotten it twice in the past two months, all…

Indeed. The horror of law-abiding noncitizens daring to reenter the U.S. after Mexico has just suffered one of the strongest earthquakes in its history! Falfurrias, Texas will never be unsullied.

While I certainly won’t disagree that the X7 concept grille is hideous, BMW has vastly larger problems than design right now. I’d also take the current Bimmer lineup over anything from the Bangle years any day of the week. (“GT” variants excluded.)

Believe it or not, the various Bimmer “GTs” are surprisingly popular in Europe. (Not that I disagree about their looks.)

Subaru has one attractive car: the Crosstrek (both the original and new 2018 version). The Outback is OK; the Forester’s too tall; the Impreza’s just plain odd; and the Legacy was beat with the same ugly stick as the new two-door Civic Si. (I’m not including the Toyobaru BRZ here, but it’s fine.)

If you have even a rudimentary grasp of Uber’s history, you probably know the ride-hailing service as a start-up with a history of rebuffing regulations as much as it possibly can.

Let’s do some math.

I’m curious what kind of demographics Jalopnik has amassed about its readership, particularly with respect to age. I say that specifically because I’m old enough (albeit barely) to have actually driven a brand-new automatic MR2 from the era - back-to-back with a stick, no less. As is almost universally the case with…

You could just flip her over. (I’m gay, so I get to say shit like this.) Isn’t anal a major straight-guy fantasy? (Truth be told, it is much tighter up there...)

First time I’ve heard the phrase, but I’m totally stealing it.

A few notes:

Sorry, but I have to call bullshit on half of this:

"Vomit is the most disgusting of bodily fluids (to me) and I refuse to sit here and come up with a valid sentence for the purposes of illustrating the Cold Lunch unless there is a significant pay raise in my near future."

"Thus ends today's Kimye wedding coverage." Thank God. I have no idea why Jezebel has been so obsessed with this ridiculous spectacle.

That's only half the problem. The other half is when a character who normally drives a late-model car all of a sudden shows up driving a car best described as "not a total piece of shit but worth about $6K instead of the $40K we shelled out for the newer ride." Whenever this happens, it is nearly 100% GUARANTEED that…

It's this: there's a car (or any technical thing, really), there's a guy, there's a girl. Girl mentions car. Guy talks to girl like she doesn't know anything about cars. Girl plays dumb. Guy's friend shows up, girl then spouts a solid minute of technobabble about the car showing she's a Big Expert. First guy looks…