Did Antonio write that card? I’m not getting any penmanship awards, but at least I don’t mix cursive and print.

Oh yes, honey

Historically, Jersey has been my least favorite. I really hope we are spared the horror that is Jacqueline’s daughter Ashley. I just can’t even with her and her stupid face.

I am not at all embarrassed at how excited I am for this.

that’s how i do foreplay

It’s like the healthy relationship version of We Found Love.

Same.

“I go to lengths to get things that not everybody has.” Kourtney, Design Queen.

It’s so weird!! Is she that uncurious about other people?! Is there relationship really just figurative and literal navel gazing?!?

I would like to point out that none of the Kardashian homes were designed or decorated by either a Kardashian OR Mortally Corrup Faye Resnick. They have an interior designer named Jeff Andrews and he does all their houses. They met Jeff through Ryan Seacrest. I know someone who works with Jeff sometimes and has been…

I just Google-Imaged Faye Resnick. I’m not 100% convinced she is not embalmed.

I think Kim’s inner monologue 80% of the time is: imsexyimsexydoilooksexyimsexy.

Botox laughs: when you can no longer move the upper part of your face, you have to open your mouth wider to express merriment.

She could be “reacting” to anything here.... “KIM YOUR LEGS ARE ON FIRE!!!”

I have never in my life seen an actual episode of this show, but damn if these recaps don’t make me want to tune in.

I think these were them. I don’t get why they like them.

Kim doesn’t know where Kanye went to high school because the two of them haven’t gotten to “connect” in that way yet.