Artie Simek was a master of those. My favorite was "Puh-TWEE!"

Will cure your ills, man!

I feel you, fellow aspie. As for the other thing, the issue isn't whether you use Linux, it's whether you're a smug twazzer about it.

The "jif" people, to me, are like that one smug twazzer who prefers Pepsi or Linux, or insists that the ending of LOST "proves" that they were dead all along. Where your perfectly reasonable, logical arguments are met with that "you're so naive" smirk.

Watch out, now you're going to be brigaded by manchildren insisting we were supposed to get a sweded Ghostbusters 3.

Sweet fancy mustard, that is some next-level fuckwadery, even for him.

So if we don't get our "…and a movie," we can adopt this one.

So Dean, a fake lawyer, joins a community college study group, and learns lessons about himself with the help of a TV-obsessed Arab-American? Cool. Cool cool cool.

I totally get that! I'm afraid to put my hands up on Space Mountain for that same reason. When they banned selfie sticks at the parks, I read a thing about how they test the rides for height capacity, and I could be 6 foot 10 and hold my arms all the way up and I'd be safe. And yet I still keep my arms close to me.

Mine isn't from a movie or anything similar, it's stupider than that. At Disneyland, I'm afraid of falling in the water on Pirates Of The Caribbean. Of course, I know it's no more than a foot and a half deep, with nothing under the surface but the ride track and dropped change. But some part of my brain still…

It doesn't help that this is the level of discourse the Lucas-haters have reduced us to.

All that, just to find out that there's no news about National Treasure 3? We're fighting, The A.V. Club.

You know what I see when I compare the two? A group motivated by anger more than logic, who demonize a public figure, painting him as an evil tyrant when his only real transgression is not giving them exactly what they want, and who see any challenge as a threat and lash out angrily,

And people wonder why I compare Lucas-bashers to Fox News viewers.

Well this is a dilemma. On the one hand, this whole "Han shot first" thing became unbearably annoying about five minutes after it started. On the other hand, Arianna Grande's legs. So I don't know WHAT to think.

Red letter maniacs are the dittoheads of fandom.

I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.

I feel like that's the way the Red Letter Maniacs deflect criticism; "it's a satire," they say. "You're the one taking it too seriously," they say. Then they go on to regurgitate a bunch of crap about "protagonist" and "structure" and whatever else Stoklasa gleaned from scanning Syd Field's wikipedia page. Again,…

This is what "nerd culture" has become; a group that defines themselves as being too smart to like things inevitably paints themselves into a corner of "first hate something, then halfassedly invent a justification for hating that thing."

You're far too lenient on Red Letter Media and its followers. RLM is the Fox News of fandom, poisoning minds with their "George Lucas is an evil overlord" narrative to hook gullible nerds and turn their vague sense of dissatisfaction into a white-hot indignant rage, all to ensure that when you think of "hating Star…