Fun fact: Anybody who writes or utters the phrase "I want the purity of my daughters protected" in regards to a bra commercial is going to be a grandparent at 35.

God, yes, been there. If I could find it,I post my third (fourth?) grade class picture. Butchered hair cut (2" max on my curly little head), a cold sore, and protoboobs. I had a frown you could see from space.

I think this is my favorite story so far!

I was stuck in bed (up four flights of stairs) with a hip-to-ankle cast on my leg after dislocating my knee. The girl in the room next door went out for the afternoon and left her CD player on. Top volume. Just one song on repeat.

All of us with curly hair have had this meltdown. I don't know WTF hair dressers train on, but apparently it's only fucking straight hair that when you cut one inch off, it stays at one inch.

NO. No judging. The beauty of this game is that we all accept that humans have moments of weakness and THAT WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER and you are RUINING IT.

When I was in elementary school my mom took my sister and me to the park. There was a trail that went around a hill but it was narrow and I was scared to go any further. My mom left me at the base. She told me to meet her at the playground but I got lost. When she found me I was so upset I kicked her in the shins.

Oh my god, I feel her so hard! I remember hiking up a mountain with my mom when I was somewhere between 10-13, and being so tired and grumpy and just DONE, so my mom started telling me "Oh, we're almost at the top, just a few more turns" while we were at least a solid 90+ minutes from even coming close to the top.…

To be fair to your boyfriend, flipping out over frozen yogurt like that IS kind of cray cray.

There is nothing to make a teenage girl lose her FUCKING MIND like being told she can't see/talk to her boyfriend. I once called my sweet mother a bitch, out loud, to her face, because she wouldn't let my boyfriend come over. I was like... 15 or 16. And the dude was a piece of shit loser but of course I couldn't see…

One of my biggest fears is that one of my cats will sneak out an open door or window of my house (we live next to a busy street and near a mountain reserve full of hungry coyotes). One night we had a party where people were going in and out a lot. Once the party ended and everyone drunkenly went to bed, I did a final…

Not me (emotionally repressed 4 lyfe) but my then-14-year old sister:

If you guys had posted this in a couple of months, I suspect I would have a story. For now, I'm just quietly panicking every night because I don't think I want to be married (to anyone, it's not my husband specifically) and I think I knew that from about the first day my husband and I were dating and I still did it…

Eighth grade: my class is putting on some stupid play for our religion class and I'm doing the costumes because 1) I'm known for that kind of thing and 2) I'm not popular enough to be in the play, or have friends. While working in the "wings" (eh, poor school, shitty facilities), three classmates come back and decide…

When I was 13, my family took a trip to Mexico, and I was in a hormonal fog of angst and tears - like most teenage girls, I suppose. But the worst of it was when we were set to go on this recreated pirate ship. I. Did. Not. Want. To. Go. I couldn't even explain why through the tears as we were standing on the dock,…

Great submissions in last week's Pissing Contest, but I think Meezer5 is the winner in our hearts:

I had a full blown fit over frozen yogurt recently.

I'm pretty good at meltdowns, but my most messy? Interesting? Laughable? Would have to be a few years back.

I'm normally a very nice person who values politeness and kindness- until this one day. I had just moved from a pedestrian-friendly city to one that required a car, and was still adjusting to car culture when I got really sick and had to go to the doctor. The office was in one of the busiest areas of the city, and I…

Hmm, biggest meltdown?