Haven't seen Colonel Angus around these parts for years!

Epic Shade.

Or you could get this for $19.99 on Amazon. Probably tastes just as good. (Spoiler: it doesn't taste good)

I read "Jesus machine" and thought it would be a machine that pumped out little plastic novelty Jesuses.
I'm kind of disappointed...?

I feel like owning this would be like when I got an Easy Bake Oven and realized that it takes like 8 hours to cook a tiny pan of brownies—when I want wine, I want it promptly. This thing is for people with more patience than me.

SHUT UP AND LET ME OPPRESS YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey, I have a constitutional right to make forced, unhelpful analogies.

Yes, but despite the wonderful and intoxicating smell that comes from baby heads, crack is waaaaaaay more addictive than children... unless you're a Duggar... so not exactly analogous.

Looks more like a boogie boart.

I like this font better. Also she looks and sounds exactly like herself. There were only one or two shots when her hair was up on top of her head where I saw a slight evocation of Grace. Otherwise it was just Nicole Kidman. I'm a bit surprised actually I would have thought they could create much more of a resemblance…

WAIT I DIDN'T KNOW MR. PAMUK WAS IN DIVERGENT. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

Shailene Woodley's PR team is in overdrive because she is in two movies being released soon. She is an excellent actress but I just can't get revved for these much

How come the main character only has one friend, no family outside her marriage or job? It's sort of depressing, really...

:-/ If I were looking for a show that featured strong female characters, I don't think the Trophy Wife would be my go-to choice.

Yep. My husband would see these and think "so, we're still on, but I'll get the old towels out", not "ooooh, icky, not going there".

My classic move was leaking at night then getting it all over the back because I was lying down.

Why would I wait until my period to wear underwear with the words "Cunt Dracula" on it? Those panties right there would be my "sexing drawers" for my sexy times.

I can't be the only one who, pre-Mirena, would get blood in places other than just the crotch panel, right? The whole pantie needs to be black.

I didn’t come away with the impression that the underpants were designed to ridicule periods/women’s normal bodily functions. Rather, it gave me an impression of women owning their periods in a fun, comical way. Me on my period in a pair of them: “I’m CUNT DRACULA TODAY BITCHES BWAHAHAHA!”

Period Panties are meant to helpfully eliminate the difficulty of explaining to your significant other that you are menstruating