Could be worse. When Brett Myers set the record for most hits by a pitcher all he got was the opportunity to make a phone call.

"If you fuck a stranger in the ass, this is what's gonna happen."

"If you throw a pitch right down the middle to Joe Carter, this is what happens"

Dwight played this all wrong. If you don't want to stay with Kobe, you're supposed to at least get a giant fucking ring out of it.

You beat me to it.

Sarah Palin needs to show this reporter how to let a young athlete hit you from behind...

To find out what happened, do yourself a favor and read Barbarisi's story in its entirety here.

Mrs. Canseco shits out a double was Ozzie and Jose's birth announcement.

An accidental shit and a sloppy BJ? Are we talking about my high school prom? HEYOOO

You should have smelled the clubhouse after Justin Upton shit that upper decker in the 6th.

Bat Dog is survived by his cousin, Crime Dog.

"Done there, been that!" - Bryce Harper

I definitely would have put some good wood on it. And the Pitch as well.

God, that's awful. So much forehead.

I hope he learned a Wesson

If This Van's A-Rockin', OhGodohGODPLEASEHELPMEGAAAAAAH

obviously why he fired Del Negro.

Yeah that's pretty funny and—SWEET HEAVENLY JESUS!

Alien Resurrection doesn't exist. Doesn't. Exist! *curls up*