Last night’s game was awesome. Cards will win the Central. Fuck the haters.

Whatever you’re insinuating is in your head, not mine. And no, I don’t think that ridiculous displays of aggression are limited to athletes, and never said that. However, grown men losing their minds and having to be restrained over baseball, all in a public venue, is usually limited to athletes and sports bars. And I…

Athletes that act like this—and there are A LOT of them—have the emotional competence of a 5-year-old. It’s really kind of scary.

Some of that absent-mindedness might stem from the medical marijuana part...just sayin’

I think everyone has pulled an all-nighter for school or work at some point. However, I’ve never heard of someone being so tired that they roll their car into a pond and then ignore the cops that are banging on my window.

The $184 million dollar throw.

Missing from Lou Holtz’s “I was born without a toilet in my house, with no welfare and I turned out great” story are the thousands of other people who literally died from starvation and treatable diseases during that period of our history. Republicans LOVE anecdotal evidence.

I feel like so many of the “first beer” stories I’ve heard start with Rolling Rock. It’s probably because EVERYONE’S parents drank Rolling Rock from 1985 to 2003 and we took what we could get.

This is very, very wrong. While yes, kids can’t/aren’t going to pay more for craft beer, and yes Rolling Rock is disgusting, a 16-year-old doesn’t know what the fuck hops are and sure as hell isn’t going to like the taste of them. I drank Natty Lite and Busch because it was the closest beer got to tasting like water.…

This. I remember when we could just sit around drinking shitty beer while talking about who might win the triple crown. Now I’m constantly having to Google some random acronym that takes into consideration the hitter’s wife’s phone number. Just stop. I don’t care if WAR is a wonderful way of boiling down a player’s…

Eh.

I’m confused. People eat ass through underwear?

I’ve been getting drunk while hanging out with girls for about 10 years. At no point did my inebriety cause me to think about raping someone.

I love that the unfortunate sound guys simply working a gig at the RNC are doubled over in laughter. I can’t imagine having to be within a 40 mile radius of that shit storm.

Holy fucking shit. The Kanye/Swift thing happened SIX YEARS AGO!?!?!?!?! UGHGHGHGHGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

“The United States Department of Justice (DOJ), also known as the Justice Department, is a federal executive department of the U.S. government, responsible for the enforcement of the law and administration of justice in the United States, equivalent to the justice or interior ministries of other countries.”

Is the justice department looking into the handling of this? If not, why? It’s extremely frustrating that seemingly every college campus has a “what happens here, stays here” protection from the law.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a room more full of complete tools in my entire life. Look at that crowd. It’s like if they made a Portlandia for gentrified Brooklyn. But it’s real. Like, all of those people actually exist.

Even if the joke is that it’s supposed to be bad, it’s still not funny. Even if the joke is that the attempt to be purposely bad, is bad, it’s still really not funny. Jesus god. This is so awful.

Go Cards!