"New Mexico is so far ahead of everyone else that if you subtracted Alaska's sex time from New Mexico, they'd still be the state that had the longest sex."

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Sweet - where do you live and I'll come and nick your car....:)

conned a country into exterminating a race

Germany has gone above and beyond in terms of reparations to victims of the war. What else could they possible do, especially at this point?

Okay, I double-checked it, and he's right.

It doesn't lean 45 degrees. It leans 22.5 degrees, since one side is straight and the other side is at 45 degrees.

Cat werewolf? You mean catwolf. Werewolf means "man wolf".

Because when you're alone, you eat out of the bucket.
You just ruined a perfectly good joke.

Good job of debunking here Hawker. Hic

Thank you for showing us how well you're doing without innovation! It's heartening to know that people prefer to stay stagnant and without innovation!

Fixed that for ya.

If only you and your fore-site had been there to stop them.

Nailed it!

Struggling? Looks like they're doing their goddamn jobs.

iRobot hasn't come up with some kind of wall crawling painting bot for this yet? Shocking. Maybe an opportunity.

You can handshake with Skype now?

The Honey Syrians.

WHY did you have to use THAT picture?? that picture is honestly more disturbing than all of the short horror stories combined.

Once again we have the iPhone but not one of the first comercially available mobile phones with built in camera (and the first from Nokia, by the time the go-to mobile phone manufacturer for most people). The phone that showed that having a built in camera actually makes sense. I would say it was at least as…