Purple Cottonelle (why do they even make the blue kind?).

Purple Cottonelle (why do they even make the blue kind?).

he took a wheel in ibiza

Yeah maybe I’m a big dumb idiot but this video deals with defogging. Defrosting, which I deal with daily for several months up here in the north, definitely doesn’t work this way.

My experience, the best way to defrost your windshield is to start driving right away while you can’t see anything. Roll your window down…

Does anyone know how to become a contestant on Shark Tank?

If I had the chance to ask one question during a republican debate, I would ask how a party that is so “pro-life” can just write off the people who are being shot every day as collateral damage, that their deaths are simply the price we have to pay for living in this county. Is this really what our founding fathers…

OMG, girl, you need glasses! That’s Matt McGory from orange is the new black! He’s totes hot. I would chain him to the bed and never let him leave.

But what sucks is you’re in St. Louis.

If you're a Cubs fan trying to make Cards fans sound like dicks, good job, but hardly necessary.

What the fuck are these spots on his head? Are they like stickers on a football helmet...one for each victim?

Worst beard since Nicole Kidman.

“I gained some weight from my all-inclusive vaca in Mexico

FYI - men can already have multiple orgasms. It’s just a matter of technique. JUST SAYIN'.

Someone should have warned him the British were coming.

The beer stand in the train station was completely out of Coors Light and Bud Light Lime last week. When I asked why she shrugged her shoulders and said “Kenny Chesney played Soldier Field this weekend. They drank every drop of Coors Light in the city.”

Has the show definitely been cancelled then? I hear “hiatus” and “temporarily shelved” but I haven’t heard WE CANCELLED THE GODDAMN SHOW BECAUSE THIS WHOLE THING AND THESE PEOPLE ARE A NIGHTMARE. That’s what I’m waiting for.

... I would love to eavesdrop on Dorinda and Big Ange on a Sephora trip. Just for the voices.

Great. Now I want a ham and mayo sandwich on pumpernickel bread.

Over the course of a few hours, I’ll take leg room over hygiene any day. And I am only 5’7”. I relocated from a regular aisle to an empty bulkhead aisle right behind the mid-cabin lavatory last week. I didn’t care about the lavatory, but you would be shocked how many people can not operate a simple door.

How did STL not end up on this list?

O’Hare isn’t that bad if you know how to navigate it and avoid flying United.

Get out of my way, motherfuckers, I’ve got a connection to make!