Huh. Did you see the pricing scam on the Prime Rib?

I can’t even afford to look at the fuckin thing.

I had every intention of buying this exact one, but since you have now appraised the quality to be “butt” I have decided against it.

My partner saw the entire SMEG lineup one day while we were at the mall, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen him laugh so hard in his life. I had to stop him from buying the toaster for our kitchen. We need a toaster, but not THAT badly.

I kind of want to troll my 83 year old Jewish father by sending him that Latke Starter, but I’m worried about the consequences.

might as well just use my caulk gun

My Grandmother would use the receipt of such items as a reason to have you Removed From The Will.

“Hey, what should we call our artisanal marshmallows that have been crafted with cane sugar and cage-free egg whites? How about FLOATERS? Nothing says Christmas like a big, hot, chocolatey floater! Does that work for everyone? Why is Ned laughing?”

If I am getting $3700 worth of Jura for Christmas, it will be coming from the western isles of Scotland and I will love you forever.

I can’t get over the idea that they sell marshmallows for more than a dollar EACH. If they want to sell “floaters” how about dark chocolate ones that come in rounded clumps. Put them in people’s drinks and see if anyone will touch them.

Sure, but it’s expected that by month two you will have recruited people to sell your cheese, and by the fourth month your recruits will have recruited even more downstream cheese salesmen. At the end of six months, you’ll be a mogul at the top of your own pyramid of cheese.

I’m morbidly curious what it is about the 12-month cheese subscription such that they couldn’t put the price there. Like the last three months are aged in a specific cave that requires hours of spelunking to get to?

They are terrible, TERRIBLE, tools. A disposable, or even fabric, piping bag is cheaper, better and easily a thousand times easier to use. I bake a lot and family like to give me cake/cookie decorating gadgets, I hate them all.

Is it just me, or does that cookie decorating tool/frosting pistol look like it would be the most impossible thing in the world to actually use to decorate cookies? It’s unwieldy as hell, and other than just shooting frosting into your mouth, there’s no way it would actually be useful.

also, what happens with the 12 month subscription that they can’t print it in the catalog. Why do I have to go online to find out the cost of my 12 month subscription!? What are they hiding!?

I’m confused. No matter how much cheese you buy, it works out to $50/mo

If it gets too pricey you can always substitute the homemade stuff you mentioned.

The SmegMachine!

*Mother starts to open gift*
Mother: “What the hell is this?”
Me: “It’s Smeg, ma!”

My mother has one of those Jura espresso machines (not that exact one but very similar) and it is fucking butt. The lattes from McDonalds are better. Do not buy a Jura espresso machine.