Gwenyth Paltrow; a grown-up Regina George.

Yes! It’s almost like they care only about being excluded themselves, not whether anyone else is kept out.

Yeah, my dad (also dead, also quite troubled) clicked on one of those “Sexy Russian women are waiting to talk to you!” links and fucked up his whole computer with viruses and malware. I was just grateful that he didn’t get sucked into something worse. Scammers of every variety suck.

And yet I somehow suspect that this guy would have no problem with a men-only screening of The 300, or some other silly movie.

While I feel awful about the jobs that will inevitably lost, I hate the typical suburban mall and look forward to its death. Give me online shopping, where there are no packs of aimlessly roaming pre-teens to give me traumatic flashbacks to middle school.

Too true -- In college, I wrote a paper on wells in Bangladesh that were contaminated with arsenic. I remain suspicious that GOOP has any good suggestions, though.

I follow her on twitter! She is amazeballs.

An actual line from goop: “If you’re plagued by issues like parasites or heavy metals, you might need a bit more than a standard clean eating protocol. Below, some advice on working through more complex problems.”

This is the best show ever. We binge-watched it after the election, and joined our local PBS station so that we could access some of the seasons that weren’t available on Netflix. It’s a lovely cross-section of British society -- bus drivers and ladies in hijab and crotchety Scotsmen and builders, all working…

Trump got beaten at his own game on camera by a younger, handsome FRENCHMAN. A Frenchman with an OLDER WIFE. This is literally Trump’s worst nightmare, and I am loving it.

For a great tutorial on why GOOP is spewing nonsense, I recommend Dr. Jen Gunther:

“I will continue to stand strong for men’s rights -- and oh yeah, some rights for sluts too, I guess. Whatever.” <-- what he really meant.

If you’re curious, the NYTimes concluded that 66% of his business ventures failed or had serious problems.

Never mind that if he’d just put his inheritance into mutual funds and left it alone, he’d be far, far, far richer than he is now.

Here’s an example of it’s sparkling repartee; I’m surprised it got past the pilot stage, quite frankly.

Of course they’re not going to go after Trump’s “bad hombres” — it’s much easier to go after people who are just trying to live their lives. Like this guy, whose neighbors and WIFE all voted for Trump:

I hate even thinking this, but at least he set himself on fire, not her.

So, as a woman: is it poetry when I list what I want in my burrito bowl, or only mostly poetry?

I saw Hard Rain in the theatre because Christian Slater was in it. If you haven’t heard of it, it’s a disaster film made after the good disasters — tornadoes (Twister), volcanoes (Volcano AND Dante’s Peak, which I also loved because Pierce Brosnan somehow manages to drive a car over lava after its tires have burned…

At my 10th college reunion, the class president made a joke to the effect that all the women looked essentially the same and all the men were fat and balding. No one laughed, because it was essentially true.