Unless you're Alan Cumming.

This is the textbook definition of “crazy eye.”

Personally, I thought the joke about the car accident was in extremely poor taste. Not because of the Caitlyn Jenner angle, but because someone DIED. I can’t imagine how their family members must have felt, hearing their loved one’s death turned into a punchline about a reality television “star”.

This is the most accurate thing I have read all weekend.

There was an interview with one of the survivors and her attorney (MacLeish) on one of the Boston NPR stations. She described how the school basically tried to ruin her and her parent’s lives and reputations when they hired MacLeish, and only let her drop her suit after she agreed to sign a gag order. It was…

Please don’t insult marsupials by comparing them to Ben Carson. What have koalas ever done to you?

Interesting — my grandfather emigrated from Scotland in the 30s. Perhaps it was a carryover for him from the Old Country.

Really? My grandfather was a Mason! Now I’m wondering WHAT HE KNEW.

Is that the Midwestern equivalent of the Southern “Bless your heart”?

Except Rubio, frankly, has Dumbo ears and a Pugsley Addams hairline. (Also, I loathe his policies, all of them.)

That is some careful choreography right there, right down to the fuzzy non-threatening cardigan. Ugh. Hopefully it won’t work.

I’m hearing chimpanzee noises, personally.

Maybe the rivet things pop off and ricochet against the far edge of the pan towards the user? That’s the only thing I can think of.

As someone who just got diagnosed with a (different) chronic disease, I can’t snark at Rob Kardashian’s diagnosis. May we all have better health in 2016.

I’d say Massachusetts, but it gets dark at 4:15 in the winter and Boston’s infrastructure sucks. I’m partial to Vermont, myself.

Nope. He was in it for the blind adulation and her enormous knockers. Of course, she left him when he got too old for her... #karma

42 and 22! Professors can be such cliches.

Men got mad at the Second Wife sketch? I wished my dad was alive so I could have shown it to him and watched him squirm.

He has “fans”? Who the hell likes this twerp, other than Ayn Rand fanboys? Oh wait, I just answered my own question.

But how do we know until we try?