Right! Also a job provided by one of his father’s cronies. It’s the (rich white) American way.

Given his criticism of the Obama’s parenting skills, I debated bringing up the fact that one of Huckabee’s sons killed a dog by hanging it. And then I thought, “Well, Mike Huckabee didn’t personally kill a dog by hanging.” But then I thought, “But he raised a human being who thought that was okay.” So yeah, his…

The upside to the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight is that they spent 12 rounds punching each other in the face.

“At a dance just like drag them away”.

Right, and wasn’t this around when she was also pregnant?

I can’t shake the awful feeling that she wanted someone to try (and fail) to shoot her.

I’m so psyched that Keisha Castle-Hughes is acting again, even though all I’ve ever seen her in is “Whale Rider.” For some reason I love her anyway.

Yes, but are any of them sane? The metric should be sane minority and female candidates, not just those looking for lucrative post-election speaking and television engagements (Herman Cain and Michelle Bachmann, cough cough).

I’m sure that extra 15 minutes of work per week is totally due to “marginally better health and stamina” in men, and not, say, to women still being responsible for the lion’s share of housework and childcare.

Oh God, IKEA. Last summer we spent a couple of hours in the showroom trying to figure out if we could use a dresser as a changing table. Was this one too high? Was 4 drawers sufficient, or did we need 6? What finish did we prefer? I stole one of the IKEA changing pads from the children’s section and pretended to…

Her engagement to an infinitely more successful and handsome dude, incidentally.

I’d watch that episode.

I thought it was an exceedingly complex secret handshake?

We only did them for out-of-town guests, as a sort of “thank you for flying however many miles to our wedding.” Ours had candy and a bottle of water, though — not Warby Parker sunglasses.

Are these half-sleeves, or very fancy elbow-length gloves?

For when you want to give the impression that you have a second, shoulder-mounted set of boobs.

This looks like something you’d find growing on a tombstone.

My eight-month-old son loves pictures of babies. It can be his own face on a phone or a picture in a book. I literally just asked a children’s librarian for “board books with pictures of baby faces.” She just nodded and said “Yeah, that’s a genre,” and showed me to the right section. In other words, I don’t…

A friend of mine is watching the arguments today. He’s wearing the suit he wore when he married his husband.

The GoFugYourself authors have been pointing out that he wears mostly blue for some time now. Dude’s got a favorite color, that's all.