Dear Michelle: Your body is trying to tell you something. Namely, "PLEASE STOP PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS."

Wow. That happened to my husband's grandmother when she was living in Army housing in West Virginia in the 1940s. I'm amazed that the "Jews have horns" myth still exists!

This isn't really my area of expertise, so I don't presume to have the final word. But I would imagine that people object because of the implicit assumption that Zoe Saldana — with her lighter skin, straighter hair, and narrower nose — has a casting advantage over actresses with darker skin, curlier hair, and…

But what about when Julia Stiles gets her Gap twinset made into a hip headwrap by "Chenille", aka Kerry Washington? That scene alone is GOLD.

Yes, but Kidman wore a prosthetic to change her stereotypically Caucasian nose into a different, stereotypically Caucasian nose in "The Hours." Saldana wearing a prosthetic to have a broader, "blacker" nose — when there are already actresses who HAVE that nose — is a different thing all together.

"Center Stage" is probably my favorite of all the terrible dance movies —it's even better/worse than "Save the Last Dance," where Julia Stiles does a hip-hop inspired ballet routine after moving to the rough streets of Chicago! And Zoe Saldana is the best part of it.

I took a self-defense class a few years ago, and that was essentially the message of the instructor — never get in a car, never go to a second location, and basically make it as difficult and inconvenient for the assailant to continue as possible. His logic — which admittedly wouldn't apply to a truly deranged…

I'm torn — on the one hand, my hair is so short right now that the only way I could wear a scrunchie is if I bobby-pinned it to my head. And even when my hair was long, scrunchies didn't look great on my wispy ponytails. On the flip side, I was very fond of scrunchies as objects — I had some silk ones that were…

You had me at GOBLETS OF MILK.

Okay, that makes more sense than what I was thinking, which was "Oh, you're pregnant? Quick, to the baby room!"

Does Ellen have a baby-themed interview room? Because that's kind of weird, honestly.

I'm still smug over the time when husband and I each went to a different friend's wedding on the same weekend. Mine was an awesome bash featuring lots of champagne and silly dancing with my college friends. His was a dry evangelical event where the groom's father-in-law gave a long-winded toast about how the bridge…

Me three!

Umm, I am a little concerned by the intensity of Elizabeth Moss' stare here.

And then J.K. Rowling rolled around in a giant pile of money in her castle, while James Cook went home to his fourth floor walk-up studio.

I'm glad things worked out for you! After I presented all of the evidence that I wasn't this woman, and also that she was dead, I got my job offer back. It was a ridiculous pain in the butt, though.

Yeah, it didn't come up in my most recent background check, so I'm hopefully okay? I also have a whole dossier of stuff proving I'm not her and she's not me.

I'm 21 weeks pregnant and I've sworn that I'm going to bite anyone that touches my belly without my explicit permission. Alternatively, I'm going to put my hand on THEIR stomach. I feel very defensive about something that hasn't even happened yet.*

I once failed a employment background check because a woman in another state with the same name and birthdate as me had three active felony warrants. Ten minutes of googling confirmed that she'd been murdered by her boyfriend shortly after the warrants were issued. So I'm not surprised that arrest warrants issued…

This is actually Federer's second set of twins - he and his wife already have twin girls. The mind, it boggles.