They already made it into a series...of movies.

+1 animal cracker on your belly button

“Um, you know, Mamba mentality,” Ball said. “Thought I’d switch it up.”

ignore the flesh egg in the background and zoom in on them sweet pinstripes

Dana White is a golem made out of Four Loko and an Ed Hardy t-shirt.

The best HBO theme song is so obviously “Curb Your Enthusiasm”. It’s not even remotely a contest. Perfectly fitting.

Best HBO theme music is “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

I just got back from a two week vacation travelling through the country in a motorhome. Once, in the middle of South Dakota, I was taking a piss in the tiny bathroom, and a fly was buzzing around. Somehow I was able to shoot that fucker down with my stream and my piss never missed the toilet. I felt like some…

Reese’s Pieces is supposed to rhyme. So that is how you pronounce Reese’s. Those Ree-Sees people are probably the same ones who wear Sixburgh shirts everywhere.

If Pitbull buys in, will he make the Marlins all wear women’s jerseys too?

I haven’t laughed harder at a TV show in a long time than the last episode when he kept hitting his head on the ceiling in his office.

You were. Now you are not.

Boy, are you in for a treat!

Pictured: Normally right-handed.

Too many years reading Simmons means my brain immediately went “Ewing Theory!” after seeing your comment. Not a great feeling.

By Billy Haisley

I feel like you could’ve ended this post after “As a Newcastle fan, I feel especially fucked.”

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