But but but if he did his job like he was supposed to and not violate the fourth amendment then how on earth is he supposed to look like the cop with the most power and biggest penis in front of all the other cops!?! Did you even think about how important his ego is to him Stig? I bet you didn’t.

Kyrie Irving to Paris Saint Germain.

Are you talking about the U.S. or N. Korea?

We execute people for:

From beyond the grave, a ghostly George Carlin speaks to us: “The word bipartisan usually means some larger-than-usual deception is being carried out.” 

The downing of the Syrian jet may very well have been the right thing to do militarily.

the Su-22 was bombing coalition forces

Got rekt by a fishing ship? Seems kinda silly to call yourself a “destroyer” at that point.

Davor Suker is Croatia’s greatest player.

I wish there was a defense against the war the Kochs are waging against America more than I worry about Russia.

I say we impose sanctions on the Irani, Iraqi, Libyan, Somalian, Sudanese, Syrian, and Yemeni national teams.

Why no moment of silence for the innocent victims of the terror attack in Iran?

As if the last administration would be any different.

These layoff announcements are getting more and more sudden.

Still my all-time favorite Deadspin comment

As a fellow Arsenal fan I am frankly shocked you believe that soccer gods exist or are anything other than capricious dickheads

Hands down, my personal favorite conspiracy theory is one covered over on your sister site Deadspin, and that is the Stevie Wonder truther movement. After examining the evidence, I am sufficiently convinced that he can, at least somewhat, see. Short of a certified report from an optometrist saying otherwise, I will…