Oh my GAWD.

That’s why I like to grab my tit, shake it, and say “Say hello to the man”.

I believe Deadspin fired Will Gordon so they could sell Coors ads.

I totally understand where the Thunder are coming from on this one. The longer they keep me waiting, the less money I give waiters.

Lizzy Caplan is engaged? This news has literally ruined my weekend.

Jimmy fallon is like a full-body cringe, made sentient.

It’ll never be admitted publically, not unless there’s a divorce. And there likely won’t be. Joanna will keep her empire thriving, pretending that the outward signs of success—the family, the house, the money—repudiate the gnawing dissatisfaction she could never speak about. This is what Godly people want, after all,…

I’ve heard rumors that she’s a single mom. Can anyone confirm that?

Anyone else really happy to see Patton Oswalt happy again? My heart broke when his wife died. I like him so damn much, and I just want him and Alice to be happy.

I feel bad; the whole thing must really stink for him.

To paraphrase the standup Stewart Lee, it’s because comedians provide a valuable social function by acting as agents of the carnivalesque. In many cultures, clowns are sacred figures. Their attacks on propriety and their inversion of common values provides catharsis that preserves the status quo by normalizing the…

This is not self deprecating, dum dum. This is deprecating others.

Also, okay, your last name is “Murphy”, and so you decided to sell Murphy beds? I’m sorry, but is that the best thing you could think of? Does it seem like a solid business plan to you? I mean, is the reasoning here that once people find out you exist, they will be so charmed by the fact that you share a name with a…

The University of Texas did something similarly brilliant/awful when Tom Penders was basketball coach. There was a low-level scandal of sorts with the illegal release of a player’s grades. In the following investigation I think Penders was either bought out of let go or some mutual parting but there was no report or…

Unless things have changed in the half-decade since I worked there, that doesn’t happen. There seems to be a perception that it does, I’ll give you that.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with that kind of thousand-yard stare.

Also ignore the people with 200 + reviews since it indicates being in love with the idea of critique as a means of ego satisfaction

A while back, a tall skinny kid that I expected was 15-16 years old and a blonde lady sat in front of me and my wife at the movie theater. I even texted her that he was going to be good at basketball one day......

End of the movie, they turn around to leave and its Tim Duncan and his ex-wife - this was about 4 years…

I submit ours, Janelle Monae: